-
PTSD and Medical Equipment
It’s difficult to think about the fact that medical equipment can actually be a trigger for my PTSD and medical related trauma. Especially because I am around medical equipment EVERY SINGLE DAY! Some signs of my medical PTSD are a racing heart, increase in anxiety, sweaty body and palms, and nervousness.
My anxiety being triggered around medical equipment is similar to when someone has an elevated blood pressure whenever they go to the doctors. This is sometimes referred to as the “white coat syndrome”.
Medical devices and equipment makes me more nervous than the average person. When I go to the hospital, the beeping monitors sometimes send me into a panic. Hearing the pulse ox machine beep during my 6 minute walk test makes my legs turn to jello and my heart start racing. Even testing my own oxygen levels at home makes me anxious some days.
Having to wear a bipap at night can be particularly difficult especially when I wake up and get interrupted sleep. Sometimes I feel trapped by the bipap and take off the mask even though I should be wearing it the whole night.
Do you ever experience PTSD or increased anxiety around medical equipment or medical devices? Which equipment/devices are the biggest trigger for you? What do you to help manage this anxiety?
-
12 Replies
-
I haven’t been as submerged in machines and testing as you or for as long but can imagine getting there. Does waking up suddenly and, in a moment of panic, ripping off a CPAP harness, mask and chin harness count? When the harness flipped across the room like a rubber band, the cat pounced and carried it off under the bed.
As a possible corollary or sunset, I offer the anxiety attack resulting from misplacing some item in the daily routine.
Then again we could turn it into either science fiction (AI, rise of the medical machines) or comedy and farce.
-
I like the sci-fi take on this Vanessa. When all is said and done, sometimes we have to add some humor into it ! “The attack of the BIPAP!” coming to a theater near you hahaha!
But on a serious note, yes I totally understand the waking up suddenly and the feeling of panic that comes from the mind not registering that the mask is on our face ! Makes it seem like I am being trapped by something and I really don’t like this feeling at all! When I first started wearing it, and even on days when my anxiety is higher, I was given anxiety meds to help me sleep. I was given Klonopin. Now, I have to be more cautious with taking this type of medication because it slows breathing!
-
I suffer PTSD, from hospitals, Dr visits and especially when my O2 concentrator or CPAP lose power or malfunction. I am willing to try a portable unit, but Medicare offers only one or the other. I look forward to hearing about things that others are using to live as normal as possible.
Thanks for sharing
-
Jimi,
I have lost power with my concentrator. Are you on a special list for the electrical company in your area so you are top priority? If worse comes to worse I always end up just going to the hospital even if its to use their charge for the oxygen. Better safe than sorry! I would suggest being on a medical list and checking with your electrical company about this. The one I use for electric is a form that needs to be filled out by the doctor and then once they get that you’re made a priority! At least knowing this helps a little with my anxiety over this “what if” scenario.
-
-
-
Glad I’m not the only one!!!!
For me it’s hospital machines before surgery. I’m glad I’m half anesthetized by the time the real heavy gear starts up!
-
VK,
I get this feeling! Usually I have them give me all the anxiety meds possible before being wheeled into the OR so I’m as calm as possible. Versed works wonders! It’s the only way I can actually calm myself pre surgery. Meds are highly needed for me to reach this level of relaxation knowing something is going to happen. I’ve even asked for a “double” before and they provided hahahaha! Gotta do what you gotta do! -
It was so crazy to me that I went into the OR for my transplant operation without any meds on board. I laid in the bed for a couple hours without any anesthesia while a nurse arranged literally hundreds of metal surgical clamps, a respiratory therapist worked on the bypass machine, and another nurse visualized scans of my heart and lungs. They gave me a piece of paper and a pen and I sketched the scene while I waited (donor organs were stuck in traffic!) – this calmed me down a bit, but it was honestly so crazy to watch and I was internally flipping out (probably crying a bit too).
Luckily my PTSD isn’t too intense. One thing that helped me was doing some meditation with a therapist. We dove into my earliest memories of surgery and I tried to reimagine the trauma in a more positive light. Memories are pliable so this worked really well for me. Now I try to associate medical equipment and medical professionals with healing. The truth is they are trying to help us. It doesn’t always seem that way, especially growing up with this from a young age. Medical equipment and professionals have hurt me time and time again. But I am only alive because of medical equipment and professionals.
I take power away from the pain and fear by focusing on the positive. I practice this every time I get my blood drawn. If I distract my mind instead of worrying about whether the needle is going in or focusing on the physical pain. It really is a mental game and hurts less when my thoughts are elsewhere.
Have you ever tried this?
I think the method my therapist used falls under EFT therapy, or tapping therapy. I held tappers in my hands while she guided me through the memory of my first cardiac catheterization. I’ve only done this once or twice (second time with a light bar instead of tappers?), but it’s been extremely effective for me.
-
Hey Kathleen,
Thanks for the great advice. After the fact, I am able to see it in a positive way and actually have a trauma response that seems to work for me when I am experiencing physical pain. It’s as if I can mentally take myself away from the situation (almost like a meditative state). I still get that initial panic though but have been much better with it. It’s the initial shock I have trouble with because that’s when anxiety can really take over. Like when waking up in the middle of the night with the bipap mask on and not registering that it’s on yet. Your advice is so helpful and I’m sure will help others who read this topic too! You’re awesome 🙂
-
-
-
Even though not medical equipment specific, Mike Naple‘s column, “Using the Muppet Theory to Explain Anxious Episodes,” reminded me of this thread
-
Thank you for the link Vanessa. Can you relate to what he says too?
-
-
I don’t experience PTSD from med equip, but I wake up during procedures and so I get nervous worrying I will wake up. Some examples:colonoscopy (not so bad), having a Hickman catheter in my chest pulled out (doc said “oh shit! She’s awake” and they gave me more versaid). The biggie was the time I was flat on my back on a surgical table and my doc was over me using a 60ml syringe pulling 2L of fluid from my pericardial sac! Extremely painful and scary!
And the docs always say, “Oh, you can’t remember that”, but I do!
-
Hi Jill,
Yes! unfortunately this has also happened to me before. It happened while I was getting my pacemaker implanted and they didn’t think that I could “feel” the pain from it but I definitely did and was very scarred from that moment. Now I always make sure to tell the anesthesiologist beforehand that I have woken up before during procedures especially ones that aren’t a complete anesthesia and more of a “sedation” where you are not supposed to remember. I am not sure the reasoning behind why I wake up but I think that it has something to do with the fact that I have had so many surgeries so it’s almost as if I have built a tolerance for all the medications! Even medications like versed don’t “knock me out” the way it would for someone else my size.
-
Log in to reply.