• Spring is really hard

    Posted by Cris Dingman on April 4, 2019 at 10:45 am

    I know this may sound silly, but for most of my life, I have loved all things involving gardening; turning the soil in the spring, mulching, planting, landscaping, building pergolas, walkways, everything having to do with “outside” and dirt… I have noticed I am so down when spring comes. I love the sun, I love the warmth, the birds making nests, all of it. But I think I am in mourning for all the things I cannot do now. I have tried container growing, and that helps, but I guess I just have to get used to this being the new normal, but it is SO-O-O hard! How do you guys handle the loss of things you can’t do anymore? Most things I am ok with, but this is tough…

    gayle-ward replied 4 years, 11 months ago 3 Members · 10 Replies
  • 10 Replies
  • brittany-foster

    Member
    April 4, 2019 at 10:55 am

    Cris,
    First of all, I totally understand exactly what you are going through. I think that it’s honestly important to allow ourselves to “grieve” the things that we were once able to do. If we try to convince ourselves that it’s okay and just try to do something else to fill that void then we will never actually help ourselves in the long run. It’s like grieving the loss of a loved one when we lose pieces of ourselves that we feel like we can’t get back or are too difficult for us. For me, that was sports. I get frustrated when I get short of breath just shooting a basketball or playing catch with my nephew in the backyard with this warmer weather coming.

    My advice would be to allow yourself to feel the sadness, frustration, anger, and any other emotions and then start to think about what you CAN do related to gardening. Doing planting, weeding, (not sure all that goes into gardening even though my family owns a landscaping business LOL) but think about how (if possible) you can adapt it to meet YOUR NEEDS. Don’t try to overdo it just to prove a point. Things can be adapted to different ability levels even if it means just doing a little bit at a time and then going back outside for me after.

    • Cris Dingman

      Member
      April 4, 2019 at 1:59 pm

      Thanks, Brittany. You seem to get the idea of a PHYSICAL loss more than most of my friends, I think because of your love of sports. Alot of my friends think scrolling through their phone or flipping magazines pages should qualify as a sport! lol… They never got why I would rather have a shovel in my hand than a latte, and why on earth would I miss something like that? I have changed to container gardening, I just came on here because I know most of us on here get the “loss”. Thanks for letting me vent.

      • brittany-foster

        Member
        April 4, 2019 at 3:54 pm

        Of course Cris,
        You can always feel free to vent here. At least you are speaking to a group of people who do “get it” like you said. It’s hard for people to understand all that we lose. I have had friends tell me that “I’m lucky” because I don’t work all day. But to me, losing my ability to work was not “luck” . It’s just ignorance on many people’s part. Not the mean ignorance but more of the fact that they just don’t know how it is.

  • gayle-ward

    Member
    April 9, 2019 at 9:56 am

    Chris, I love working in the yard but it is really hard to get things done. What I do is pace myself. I work maybe an hour a day and take breaks if I need to. My friends tease me because I start my spring gardening so early but it just takes me longer. Don’t give up.

    • Cris Dingman

      Member
      April 9, 2019 at 10:15 am

      Thanks for the words of encouragement Gayle. I am going to take your advice to heart and am figuring out a better way to get my fingers in the dirt. I am going to try taking a low stool out and seeing if that helps prevent the bending over SOB. You’re also right that gardening doesn’t have to be a marathon, anymore. In my “past life”, I helped elderly residents at an assisted living center plant and care for flowers and vegetables. The experts say there is some chemical or element in soil that prevents and minimizes depression, so we should all try getting a bit of dirt under our nails, right?

    • brittany-foster

      Member
      April 9, 2019 at 11:33 am

      My mom also loves gardening, Gayle. I know it brings her a lot of peace of mind to get out there and start her flower garden. I’m always amazed at how much time and care she puts into it and it always pays off in the end with such a beautiful garden to look at in the backyard. I always remember that about my childhood. She tried to get me interested in it but I got too caught up with the feeling of dirt in between my nails LOL! I tend to fixate on things !

  • gayle-ward

    Member
    April 9, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Chris, one of the hardest things for me is to learn to Slow Down and be in the present. I’m with you, working in the earth is therapeutic.

    • brittany-foster

      Member
      April 9, 2019 at 11:34 am

      I can relate to that struggle of learning when to “slow down”. I never know that happy medium of “not too much but not too little”. I’m slowly starting to get the hang of what I feel comfortable with doing but it is still a work in progress.

  • gayle-ward

    Member
    April 9, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    Thanks for the link Chris

  • brittany-foster

    Member
    April 9, 2019 at 11:35 am

    Thank you for the link Cris! So interesting to read and I definitely knew there are a lot of benefits of getting outside and just being in nature. Really makes you stop and think more about the present and can be very meditative for some people.

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