Columns

If you saw me you would probably notice my bright blue eyes (thanks, Pawpaw) or my huge smile. You might not realize that behind the smile, I am hiding something. I have been hiding the chronic pain that has been affecting me for a long time. It’s not that I’m…

A couple of weeks ago, I listened with tears in my eyes as Demi Lovato sang her heart out at the Grammy Awards. I can’t relate to her addiction, but I can relate to the pain in her heart. Recently, I have felt depressed…

Second in a series. Read part one. Grief and guilt are not easy to express or explain. It has been five years since my son’s heart and double-lung transplant after a lengthy battle with pulmonary hypertension (PH). I am thankful and overjoyed that he has continued to push through…

We don’t always have a choice about what life throws our way. But our response to challenges is something we can control. Living with pulmonary hypertension (PH), I don’t always have control over my body. With that lack of control comes frustration. However, I’ve found some coping strategies that improve…

First in a series.  Many pulmonary hypertension (PH) patients and caregivers experience survivor’s guilt. During my son’s battle with PH and the five years since his heart and double-lung transplant, a staggering number of patients have died because of PH and post-transplant complications. Each time I learn of another…

Since my pulmonary hypertension (PH) diagnosis, others have told me repeatedly how strong I am. But on some days, I don’t feel as strong as they think I am. Even the strong grow weak and weary. But that doesn’t mean I’m not strong as I battle my PH. I have…

“I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.” This is the response I usually give to people when they ask, “How are you?” Most people I say this to don’t want to hear the truth and probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. I have learned over…

It is said that good things come to those who wait. But when you are waiting for a loved one to get out of surgery, patience has nothing to do with the outcome. Neither does worrying. Fear is difficult to subdue under these circumstances. The longer the wait, the more…

Life is tough. Living with pulmonary hypertension (PH) and other illnesses impacts not only my life but my family’s lives, too. I have touched on this topic briefly in previous columns, but I don’t think I have shared just how much PH impacts us as a family. No matter…

Gaining and losing weight is a part of life. In my 28 years, my weight has fluctuated for several reasons, including puberty, hormones, dietary changes, and acute illness. During these weight shifts, I accepted that it was just how my body was at…

Over the past decade, my son and our family have been through an intense journey from pulmonary hypertension (PH) to transplant. Most of the big, scary, sad, joyful, and incredible moments were squeezed into the past 10 years. Cullen was two years into his diagnosis when the world ushered in…

“I don’t have a choice, but he does. He doesn’t have to choose this type of life.” I said this to my mom with tears in my eyes just before my bypass surgery four years ago. At the time, I had been in a…