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Do You Find It Difficult To Feel Sadness?
Feeling sad is probably one of the hardest emotions I’ve ever had to face. For me, it’s extremely uncomfortable. I can say that I would rather feel some sort of physical pain than sadness. When I am sad, down, feeling depressed, it is hard for me to put these feelings into words. Many times when I’m “sad” it comes across as anger, frustration, and even rudeness. It effects my relationships with those who I care most about. I find myself shutting down and isolating myself in fear of an outburst.
Luckily, I have been going to therapy and trying to manage the many emotions that go along with numerous chronic illnesses and we have worked on different ways to address these emotions. One of the ways I have worked on “sadness” is by allowing myself to feel it. Being able to cry whether it be alone or in front of those who I trust and love me has been one of the most refreshing things for me. Crying keeps my sadness from turning into rage if I try to keep it in for too long. I allow myself to feel sad without judgement and without name calling.
I also have found more creative outlets to express my sadness such as coloring, writing, and just letting my thoughts flow on paper. Getting it all out there has been so therapeutic. There are still times when I have to admit to myself that I need more help than just a good cry. Whether it be anxiety/depression medications, or a faster acting anxiety medications to keep my sadness from turning into panic.
Do you find it difficult to express sadness? Do you get mixed emotions of frustration and anger like I do? Do you communicate your sadness to others? What are some coping skills you use when you are feeling more sad or depressed?
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2 Replies
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I once had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend about sadness. She was worried about crying too much and asked me how I never cried or never appeared sad. I told her instead that if someone makes me sad enough to cry, I instead take cold and calculated revenge on them. I’m guessing this is a type of anger reaction on my behalf.
The reality is that some people don’t cry or look sad, we have other ways to deal with our emotions. Those ways aren’t better or worse, they’re just different. My only recommendation is to minimize the damage (if you’re rude or like to take revenge, make sure you’re justified before you do it).
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Hi VK,
I know what you mean. It’s easier to express anger for me. I try my hardest to stop this from happening, especially in relationships. If I’m really struggling I tend to pick apart things that my partner is/isn’t doing. He always stops me from doing this but not without getting angry himself. It’s hard to put in words how we use anger and when it is and isn’t justified. When it’s in place of sadness i try to notice this and find that it is better emotionally and physically for me to just let it out and cry if I have to. I also catch myself being snappy sometimes with my own therapist when she touches on a sensitive topic that makes me want to cry inside but instead I get a rude “don’t mess with me right now” look , if that makes sense. Emotions are hard!
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