When I was younger, I was always “waiting” for something to happen. I can remember at 10 years old counting down the days and hours until the next big social studies test was over. I would think, “By this exact time two days from now I will be…
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“Hi, this is Brittany calling again. I’m sorry to bother you, but did you get a chance to speak with the doctor?” I have repeated that line numerous times while calling doctors’ offices. I have spent countless minutes on the phone with and sending emails…
“Rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst you ever felt.” If I have learned one thing over the past few decades, it’s that pain is almost guaranteed when living with chronic illness and pulmonary hypertension.
My anxiety skyrocketed last month without any medical triggers. I celebrate my 26th birthday this weekend, and my third transplant anniversary is a couple of months away. I’m doing great physically, but I don’t feel like…
“It could be worse.” It’s amazing how quickly these four words make my head spin. People living with chronic illness are well aware of the fact that “it could be worse.” I know that I could be in a hospital…
One thing I have learned in my 27 years is that relationships aren’t always built to last. Some people have come into my life for a few years or a few months, and others have been in my life forever and continue to be there. The truth is…
I get anxious just thinking about what it’s like sitting in a waiting room at a doctor’s office. In waiting rooms, I pretend to keep myself occupied and distracted with just about anything. I mindlessly flip through hundreds of pictures on Pinterest or “read” the celebrity news from…
Black-and-white thinking is something that I have mastered for the majority of my life. In the psychology world, the term for this type of thinking is called “splitting.” According to Psychology Today, it is defined as “the division or polarization of…
President’s Day weekend was supposed to be monumental. I intended to write a feel-good column about coming full circle. It was my first time skiing post-transplant in the mountains around Lake Tahoe. Nineteen years ago, my family planned to go to our good friends’…
My repeated hospitalization cycle since November has tested my physical and mental strength. When pain, fatigue, depression, and anxiety fill my thoughts, it is hard to see the positive. While in the hospital, a transition to a double-occupancy room restored my strength.
My support systems provide me with courage, sympathy, and compassion and help me to persevere in difficult moments. A large part of my support comes from an online community called the Pulmonary Hypertension News Forums. The PH News Forums have allowed me to…
The night before my heart-lung transplant, I was in my high school art studio working on an oil painting. I had started painting to pass the time while waiting for the call, and I returned to the comfort of Mr. Miller’s…
