Ho no! Christmastime is here again!

“God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen” is one of the oldest Christmas carols. The lyrics, which have been altered numerous times to adapt to changes within the English language, are drawn from the Christmas story in the Gospel of Luke.

In the 21st century, the common definition of rest is to stop moving. But in the 17th century, when the earliest versions of the song appeared, “rest” meant to keep or continue. “God rest ye merry” and “O tidings of comfort and joy” were blessings of hope that God would keep you in peace and grant you happiness and joy, not just on Christmas but all year round.

Present-day society, however, seems to have put comfort to rest to and is instead consumed with joy. The focus is more on sounding, giving, and feeling joy than experiencing comfort in faith and tradition. That’s emotionally exhausting for someone like me, who’s experienced her fair share of trauma and requires peace. “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen” reminds us that comfort and joy can and should exist together.

Finding comfort amid the joy at Christmas isn’t easy, but when you start to figure out ways around that joy, the season begins to feel more peaceful.

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January 18, 2021 Columns by Colleen Steele

Stress Relievers Make Perfect Gifts for Patients and Caregivers

Drown out the noise

I’ve cared for my 24-year-old son Cullen since he was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH) in 2008 and underwent a heart and double-lung transplant in 2014. I also witnessed my husband’s health decline and cared for him until his passing in 2023. Now I’m looking after my aging parents and facing both the beauty and heartache of the circle of life.

Life as a caregiver has been noisy, literally and figuratively, what with worries screaming in my head and the emergency sounds of a loved one in trouble. I enjoy a choir singing and bells ringing, but the sirens sounding is too alarming for me to feel joyous.

I attended evening Mass recently for the solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. The drive home was pleasant as I passed through neighborhoods of Christmas lights while seasonal music played softly in my car. It was abruptly interrupted by emergency lights and blaring sirens as I got closer to my home. A wave of familiar panic set in as I felt that someone I love might be in trouble — until I realized what was happening. My emotions switched from fear to joyous childhood nostalgia.

But my mom didn’t recall this neighborhood tradition of Santa ringing in the season by riding on a fire truck with the lights and blaring sirens of police escorts. She met me at the door frightened, as I’m sure others were. It took me a while to calm her nerves and mine. It reminded me of the post-traumatic stress that war veterans sometimes experience during Fourth of July fireworks.

I wondered what I could do next year to make this experience less stressful without ruining the joy it provides others. I’ve decided that we’ll listen to Christmas carols on headphones to help drown out that Santa noise and any other sounds that we find uncomfortable.

Don’t force holiday participation

When you’re ill or a burned-out caregiver, Christmas shopping, decorating, cooking, and baking, among other traditions, might not be possible or appealing. But watching can be comforting and just as entertaining. You can sit on the bench and still be part of the team, so bring on the reindeer games.

There are options if someone is feeling left out. Along with the decorations, bring out the memories. Encourage conversation about Christmases past and watch faces light up as favorite memories are shared. I suggest recording the storytelling so you can reopen the gift every year.

String popcorn or make paper chains with a child whose energy is depleted by PAH or other illnesses. Pick them up and allow them to put the star or angel on the Christmas tree. Ask them about their favorite ornaments, Christmas shows, and holiday treats. Include them without exhausting them.

Don’t sacrifice your comfort to artificial joy

In years past, I’ve stress-shopped for the perfect gift, exhausted myself decorating, and wrapped gifts while others slept. I’ve worried about the possibility of future empty chairs instead of enjoying those sitting in them now. My mind wandered during Mass instead of being present in the comfort and joy of the real reason for the season.

I’ve witnessed the sacrifices that illness and aging force on people. At Christmas, the only thing I’m willing to sacrifice now is unnecessary stress. I no longer seek an abundance of joy but a healthy balance between that and comfort.

There will be a few gifts under a decorated Christmas tree, but my spending this year will be more about time and whom I share it with. I’ll find peace in the memory of my husband, joy in celebrating the birth of Jesus, and comfort in doing so with my parents and my sons.

God rest ye all!

Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.