How to combat impostor syndrome while managing PH
It's crucial to get ahead of any feelings of guilt or inadequacy
![Banner image for](https://pulmonaryhypertensionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/JenCueva_WorthThePHight.jpg)
Do you ever feel like a fraud because of your rare disease?
For the past two decades while managing pulmonary hypertension (PH), I’ve battled self-doubt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. I know I’m not alone. We all face these emotions at different points in life, and through conversations with friends and colleagues who have PH or another rare disease, I’ve found that many of us question ourselves and feel like we don’t belong.
I even stumbled across a column by a friend with cystic fibrosis, Brad Dell, called “Impostor syndrome is an injustice to all we’ve endured with CF.” While his struggle is different from mine, our illnesses have caused both of us to doubt ourselves at times.
This topic has been popular in the rare disease community lately, so I wanted to share how impostor syndrome affects my life, in hopes of helping others to combat it.
Feeling like a fraud has caused me to dismiss my symptoms, thinking they can’t be that serious. Sometimes I downplay PH to my social circle and avoid making a big deal out of my medical struggles, fearing others will see me as weak.
I’ve even downplayed symptoms to my healthcare team. For instance, after I waited almost a week to contact my doctors about ongoing issues, they had me come in for chest X-rays immediately. It turned out I had pneumonia again. I would’ve felt better within a week had I trusted what I was feeling and reached out sooner.
Impostor syndrome can sneak up on us in various ways. But we can work together to explore and address our emotions.
Stay ahead of your wandering mind
One common manifestation of impostor syndrome is feeling unqualified or undeserving of certain roles. This feeling resonates deeply with me, as I sometimes doubt myself while writing these columns.
Those of us with PH may question our abilities, skills, and knowledge, despite having the necessary qualifications and experience. Allowing our minds to wander can lead to self-sabotage, where we hold ourselves back from opportunities because we don’t feel worthy. Stay ahead of this behavior by reminding yourself that you’re capable despite any limitations this disease imposes.
Often, impostor syndrome leads us to compare ourselves with people who don’t have a chronic illness. We may feel inadequate, thinking we must keep up with other people’s paces and productivity levels. However, it’s essential to remember that everyone’s journey is unique. We should focus on our own progress and accomplishments and avoid making comparisons.
Given the constant uncertainty and unpredictability of living with PH, it’s no surprise it can contribute to impostor syndrome. We may feel like we’re constantly trying to keep up, but our symptoms and flare-ups are holding us back from fully participating in work or social events. That can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy, as if we’re not doing enough or falling behind. How many of you have experienced this?
Allow yourself to feel the emotions
It’s crucial to acknowledge and address these feelings. One way to combat impostor syndrome is by reminding ourselves that having PH or another condition doesn’t make us any less capable or deserving of success. We should celebrate our achievements and strengths, no matter how tiny the victories.
Creating a support system of people who understand what we’re going through can also help us to combat impostor syndrome. Talking with others who face similar challenges — at our Pulmonary Hypertension News Forums, for example — can reassure and validate our experiences and remind us that we’re not alone.
Practicing self-compassion and reminding ourselves that it’s OK to take breaks or ask for necessary accommodations are also crucial. Taking care of our physical and mental health should always be a priority.
While living with PH or other rare diseases can make us more susceptible to impostor syndrome, it’s essential to recognize these feelings while also celebrating our achievements, finding support, and practicing self-compassion. Our illnesses do not define us; we can achieve great things despite our challenges.
Let’s embrace our strengths, persevere through our toughest times, and remember that we’re worth the PHight.
Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.
Comments
Barbara Perry
Thank you, Jen, for the excellent, uplifting article.
Jen Cueva
Hi Barbara, I am so happy to hear that you found this column helpful. It means so much when I share my experiences with PH and others can relate or benefit. It's all worth it!
Thank you for not only taking the time to read but also offer your feedback.
If you've not yet joined us in the PH News forums, we would love to have you join the conversation. I am one of the forum moderators. I'll share the link below.
PH News Forums
Take care, my PHriend. I hope to see you soon in the forums.
Carol Volckmann
Jen, you always seem to bring such important reminders for all of us that reach deeply into what b is crucial for us to move forward, not get stuck on feelings that are negative. Thank you always for being there. Lots of love,
Carol
Jen Cueva
Hi there my sweet PHriend, you are a ray of sunshine! Thank you so much for your heartfelt love and support. It makes my heart happy knowing others can benefit from my shared experiences.
Some days are better than others, but we can't get stuck in one place too long!
Thanks for taking the time to read this one and your kind words, Carol. Take care!
Colleen McGarrity
OMG, Jen! Have you crawled into the depths of my mind? My type A personality wreaks havoc on my feelings of complete inadequacy and feelings of total uselessness.
My friends don't understand battling a disease with mortality implications because they are all still working to afford their families, homes and vehicles. They can't or don't want to think about the fact that none of us will be here forever.
I'm so lucky, though, my Mom is the greatest caregiver and is so understanding.
However, some days my mind goes to the dark depths and I wonder if the fight is worth this.
But when I read this, I know you understand. People understand. This is not abnormal thinking. Thank you for your courage in opening up about this subject. Thank you for your bravery.
Jen Cueva
Hi Colleen,
You don't know how much your comments touch me. Often it's challenging to write about my experiences especially anything that isn't positive. But when my treaders can benefit, it's worth every minute!
We all have those dark times, my PHriend. When you start spiraling down into that, please know you have support in the forums and we get it!I also must share, my therapist, with whom I just had an appointment with has helped me so much. I never thought I could talk to a stranger but I do and she is wonderful, I see her every three weeks.
You're never alone, we are always here to help lift you and remind you you are enough and worthy!
Joni Ramie
Jen,
This article resonates with me at a deep level. Thank you for reminding me that I’m never in this struggle alone. My love and prayers go out to you and all of my other PH warriors, and to all other people who are still struggling with self love and self worth.
Much continued success Jen!
Jen Cueva
Hi Joni, it touches my heart when others can relate and find my writing helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read it and also feeling compelled to offer some feedback. You are never alone in this PHight.
If you have yet to join us in the PH News forums, we would love to have you join.I'll share the link below, I'm also one of the moderators there.
PH News Forums
Take care and I hope to see you in the forums, my PHriend.
Teresa
Wow Jen, I'm starting to feel normal again after your read. I do feel like Job from the Bible & wonde wonder what God has in store for me next.Is it many pneumonia after pneumonia? Is it exhaustion & defeat every day? Is it feeling inferior every time you go out in the public? I have the Lord on my side & He walks with me, & talks with me & tells me I'm His friend. As with Job he stayed faithfully to the Lord, & in the end the a Lord blessed him exponentially. Because having Jesus as my best friend has helped me beyond. So thank you for your comments & may God bless you too.
Jen Cueva
Hi Teresa,
I am so grateful you found my column helpful. That's why I share my experiences with PH in my column, although often it's challenging to put myself out there. But as long as one person benefits, my heart is full of joy.
Your strong faith will keep you grounded, my PHriend!
If you have yet to join us in the PH News forums, we would love to have you. I'm one of the moderators there. I'll share the link below.
PH News Forums
Take care and thanks again. I hope to see you soon in the forums.