In loving memory of a good neighbor

Cornered. That is how my son Cullen, 25, and our family felt when he was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension in 2008. But being cornered isn’t as scary when you look around and see who’s in the corner with you.

Compassionate and knowledgeable doctors, nurses, and social workers were in Cullen’s corner to help keep him stable and living a quality life. The pulmonary hypertension (PH) community was also in his corner, providing a sense of belonging and support during difficult times for both him and our family.

When Cullen received a heart and double-lung transplant in 2014, new medical teams joined his corner, as did the transplant community, but what has been endearing is that the PH community never left. They remained big supporters in our lives, and we in theirs.

The PH community lives within a diverse neighborhood of other diseases and illnesses. We strive to be good neighbors; the best way to do so is to bond over our similarities and learn from our differences.

We recently lost someone in our neighborhood. If you never had the pleasure of meeting her, learning about the person she was and the battle she fought may still help and inspire you.

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Who was Lani Kohrt?

I am an only child, so when I married Brian Steele in 1995, I was thrilled to have three brothers-in-law and a sister-in-law, Lani Kohrt.

I was drawn to Lani’s kind nature, genuine smile, and eagerness to welcome me into the family. I felt special and loved, but she had a way of making everyone in her life feel that way. She was someone you wanted in your corner.

Lani was diagnosed with triple-negative metastatic breast cancer in October 2020. She valiantly lived with it until taking her last breath on Jan. 15, 2025, at the age of 58. Yes, she lost the battle, but in the minds and hearts of many, she won the war because she never allowed cancer to change the loving, kind-hearted, faith-filled, positive person she’d always been.

Lani’s weapons of choice

Five years is a long time to battle the type of aggressive cancer that Lani had. When I asked how she did it, she responded without hesitation: Love for family and friends strengthened her will to live.

Instead of dwelling on how much time she might have left, she made the most of each moment. Cancer often limited her social life, but Lani mustered the strength to show up for special occasions. Her presence wasn’t just an inspiration to her loved ones, it was a gift.

I remember a hint of mischievous laughter in her voice when Lani also credited stubbornness to her survival. That’s what kept her going to treatments, toughing it out through horrible side effects, and fighting to get her lymphocyte count high enough to qualify for a clinical trial.

A real force to be reckoned with was Lani’s faith in God. There wasn’t anything cancer could do to break it, not even the threat of dying. Yes, Lani wanted to live as long as she could, but because of her faith, she didn’t fear death.

Lani loved living her faith and sharing it with others. She was the Sunday school director at First Lutheran Church in Stoughton, Wisconsin, for several years, and played in the church bell choir for 35 years. One evening, as I struggled to sleep, I received a text from Lani encouraging me to try her favorite Bible app, YouVersion. Her son, Tristan, 23, had shared the app with her, and Lani wanted me to know how much it helped.

“There are many days when I get exactly what I need to hear to help strengthen my faith in God,” she said, lovingly adding, “May it bless you as well!”

From left, Lani Kohrt and her nephew Cullen Steele enjoy listening to the ocean at the Jersey Shore in June 2024. (Photo by Colleen Steele)

Lani lived life to the fullest

Lani’s daughter, Jessica, 26, texted me remarkable ways her mother lived with cancer that she thought might inspire others.

“She never let her condition stop her from doing what she loved,” Jessica shared. “She also made a point to spend time with the people she loved no matter how far [away] they were.”

An example of her going above and beyond was when Lani and her husband of 29 years, Todd, drove from Wisconsin to Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, at the end of June 2024, to visit Tristan at Wilkes University. They stopped in New Jersey to visit with Cullen and me for a few days.

We took Lani to the Jersey Shore where she hoped to put her feet in the ocean — but the day was hot, she wasn’t well, and the walk to the water was far. Cullen could empathize well with this situation. Their hearts were happy to sit quietly on a promenade bench together, where they could listen to the crashing waves, smell the salt air, and watch seagulls circle the pretty blue sky. In their neighborhood, the simple things in life often mean the most.

Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.