Music deserves a note of thanks
I'm grateful for tunes that have touched the lives of my family and me
Music is a universal gift given and received by people of all ages, ethnicities, and cultures. Its versatile melodies, rhythms, harmonies, lyrics, and instruments adapt to any person, place, situation, mood, and event.
Music is the keeper of memories, the creator of dreams, and the healer of mind, body, and soul. It cultivates love and consoles broken hearts. It’s a prayer, a push to be brave, a reason to smile, a shoulder to cry on, and a pillow for rest.
I’m grateful this Thanksgiving for the music in my life and how it encompasses all I’m thankful for.
The vows of music
Music is like an unbroken wedding vow, faithful through sickness, health, and death.
In the column “The Day the Music Lived,” I wrote about how comforting music has been for my family, especially during the six years when my son, Cullen, was living with pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH).
I shared how his dad, Brian, would play and sing along to the song “Breakaway” by Big Pig as Cullen lay heavily sedated in a hospital bed, recovering from a heart and double-lung transplant. The first verse reminded Brian of what PAH put Cullen through, but the rest of the song inspires hope, just like Cullen’s transplant, which is now 10 years behind him.
But sadly, in April 2023, Cullen; his brother, Aidan; and I gathered around Brian’s hospital bed, playing music for him. It’s said that hearing is the last sense to go when someone is dying, and I believe that’s true. Unresponsive to anything else, Brian had tears falling from his closed eyes as songs that were always meaningful to him played softly in his ears. It made us feel like a part of him was still with us, and we hope it had the same effect on him.
The song remembers when
When Brian died, I moved from Washington state to New Jersey to care for my aging parents.
A favorite story my mother, Margaret (Maggie) Cyzewski, 86, loves to tell is how, in the 1950s, she was offered the chance to become a regular on “The Horn and Hardart Children’s Hour” (later known as “The Children’s Hour”), a well-known television variety show with a cast of children. Mom had a natural, beautiful singing voice, but unfortunately, she also had a powerful case of stage fright, so she declined the offer. But she continued to share her talent with friends and family.
On the days when aging is rough on the mind and body, Mom finds comfort in music. I created a playlist on Spotify, a music and podcast streaming service, and filled it with her favorite songs from “back in the day.”
I included songs I remember her singing when I was a child and suggestions from my aunt, Kathleen Wood. She has precious memories of being the little sister sharing a room with my mother and listening to her sweet voice singing to records. She recalls Maggie having many lovely albums, which she’d purchase herself as a teen and young adult.
“Every song your mother taught me from my childhood, I taught to my sons,” Kathleen remembers fondly.
Songs from her past, especially show tunes, continue to bring Mom joy. As she sings along, her voice might not be of “Children’s Hour” quality as it once was, or her memory of all the lyrics intact, but her singing is still beautiful to my ears.
Music to Kathleen is a reverie. “I immediately relate the song to special people in my life,” she said, “and it affords me the opportunity to spend some time, once again, with them.” I can relate, and I’m certain my mom can, too.
A gift that keeps on giving
The late JoAnn Derdan was a naturally gifted pianist who also struggled with stage fright, to the point of playing her senior recital at Texas Christian University under hypnosis.
JoAnn is the mother to Helen Baldwin, SMA News Today columnist. JoAnn’s funeral home obituary tells how when Helen turned 12, “the duo began a long, delightful tenure of playing two-piano programs together, many of which were for the music clubs to which JoAnn belonged.”
Together, they also started the successful Kinder Conservatory, a private music school for children 18 months to 6 years, in Lenoir, North Carolina.
JoAnn’s first commercially duplicated CD, “Dreams for Jeffrey,” was a collection of original songs dedicated to her grandson when he was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy. When JoAnn’s husband, Elton, passed away, she created the masterpieces “Grief: Loss and Recovery,” “Grief,” and “The Story of Noah’s Ark: A Musical Interpretation.”
Helen has gifted me with a CD collection of JoAnn’s work to share with my mother. I hope from heaven, JoAnn can hear Maggie sing along to the melody of her songs she knows — and can see her find peace in listening to the ones she doesn’t.
Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.
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