Tracking how my mental health needs have changed over the years

My relationship with counseling and mental health has adapted and morphed during the many years I’ve battled chronic illness. When I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension (PH) in 1999, mental health was discussed far less frequently than it is today.

I was also only 4 years old at the time, an age that hindered my ability to advocate for my needs. From then until now, my requirements for both therapy and medication for my mental wellness have changed along with me and my health journey.

Growing up with PH, therapy, especially for children, wasn’t nearly as common as it is today. However, I’m confident that it would’ve been an option for me if I’d truly needed it, or if I’d voiced any concerning sentiments. I was a fairly easygoing child, and while the reality of my diagnosis weighed on me, I could often self-regulate.

Instead of therapy, my parents and doctors frequently brought up the option of local and online support groups. PH is an extremely rare illness in children, and finding ways to connect with others in the community is immensely valuable. While I never formally joined any support groups, I did form a group of close friends within the PH community that functioned similarly. With this group of peers, I could talk about life with PH and know that I’d be understood completely. 

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Overcoming setbacks with treatment

During my sophomore year of college, a season of declining health and rapid changes to my thyroid levels led to my first severe bout of depression. It was a scary time as I withdrew from friends and life began to feel incredibly pointless.

Fortunately, my healthcare team diagnosed my thyroid issues after a few months and started me on proper treatment. Correcting the core issue helped improve my mental state, and soon I felt much more like myself again. In hindsight, I wish I’d advocated for more clinical care for the depression I was experiencing, but I’m fortunate that the extreme lows were only temporary.

During my senior year, I took advantage of free on-campus counseling and had six therapy sessions with an intern counselor. That was my introduction to formal therapy, and I’m glad I decided to do it. Ultimately, though, I ended the sessions because it wasn’t the right fit. I didn’t learn many coping solutions, but it was a good way to assess my mindset and explore my concerns.

My next interaction with mental health clinical care came after I had a heart and lung transplant when I was 23. During the eight months that I was hospitalized, a psychiatric team observed me closely. Earlier in the process, those same professionals had helped treat issues I had with anxiety, delirium, depression, low energy levels, and lack of sleep, all of which are common during the post-transplant period.

Today, six years later, many of these issues have subsided, although I continue to take the antidepressant the team had started me on. I can tell it makes a difference by balancing my mental well-being. As I told a friend, this medication doesn’t eliminate my worries or the darkness I sometimes feel, but when those thoughts do appear, they aren’t as heavy and endless as they used to be.

I’m a big advocate for people pursuing mental health support in any form they find helpful. I often talk about it with friends and loved ones. With that said, I’m not always good at taking my own advice, and I sometimes give myself too much credit for my ability to independently cope. I do love hearing about other people’s experiences with therapy, though, and I’m always thinking about whether it’s a tool I should put back in my life-with-chronic-illness tool belt.

Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.