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Do You Find Yourself Grieving A Past Version of Yourself?
For me, sports were always a huge part of my life. It became difficult to play ice hockey as the years went on, but I always pushed through the exhaustion and the chest pain that I would get. I ignored many of my symptoms until I couldn’t ignore it anymore and knew that it was more than the “asthma” diagnosis I kept getting.
Hockey is something that I was once able to play. Looking back, I remember tons of amazing times on the ice. Thinking back on it makes me feel happy about all the great memories I had, but it also leaves a pit in my stomach knowing that I could never play this sport the way I once did. I have had to grieve this loss and still find myself grieving.
After “losing” hockey in my life, I really felt an emptiness. Now, although I can’t physically play, I am still finding ways to be involved in the game. My nephew has recently started playing and I love to watch him at all his practices. Even though I can’t physically teach him how to skate, I can still give him encouragement, get him dressed for practices, and go with him when he picks out his first hockey stick.
I have really been trying to focus on the things I CAN still do with hockey and am looking forward to him getting older and playing in games ( I will be the wild auntie in the stands yelling !)
What is something that you are no longer able to do in the same capacity as before? Did you play a sport but are no longer able to do so? Do/did you find yourself grieving this loss?
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