-
Do You Find Yourself Grieving A Past Version of Yourself?
For me, sports were always a huge part of my life. It became difficult to play ice hockey as the years went on, but I always pushed through the exhaustion and the chest pain that I would get. I ignored many of my symptoms until I couldn’t ignore it anymore and knew that it was more than the “asthma” diagnosis I kept getting.
Hockey is something that I was once able to play. Looking back, I remember tons of amazing times on the ice. Thinking back on it makes me feel happy about all the great memories I had, but it also leaves a pit in my stomach knowing that I could never play this sport the way I once did. I have had to grieve this loss and still find myself grieving.
After “losing” hockey in my life, I really felt an emptiness. Now, although I can’t physically play, I am still finding ways to be involved in the game. My nephew has recently started playing and I love to watch him at all his practices. Even though I can’t physically teach him how to skate, I can still give him encouragement, get him dressed for practices, and go with him when he picks out his first hockey stick.
I have really been trying to focus on the things I CAN still do with hockey and am looking forward to him getting older and playing in games ( I will be the wild auntie in the stands yelling !)
What is something that you are no longer able to do in the same capacity as before? Did you play a sport but are no longer able to do so? Do/did you find yourself grieving this loss?
-
2 Replies
-
When I was younger, I loved to run. I could easily do four to five miles a day with no problems. Then as I got older, I had to back it off some, I thought I was just getting older and was in less shape than I used to be, plus the arthritis did not help Finally, I got diagnosed with PH and it was like getting hit with a truck. I got on Letairis and oxygen, and after a year of wondering what the hell happened and what can I do about it, I bought a treadmill. No, it’s not a run, no it’s not 4-5 miles, but I use it about 5 times a week. Maybe I am not doing myself any SERIOUS physical good, it won’t reverse this disease, but it sure makes me FEEL better. Whatever we can do that we used to love doing, no, no matter how scaled back it is now, that’s the best medicine out there. So Brittany, go to the hockey games and scream your lungs out (metaphorically speaking, of course). We have all GOT to keep doing things we love, or find new things we love or what’s the point? Sorry for this being so long, but the emotionally treacherous holidays are coming and we have to suit up emotionally. Merry Christmas, ya’ll!
-
Cris,
I couldn’t agree more with everything you said ! That is the best attitude to have when dealing with the things that we have lost is to find a way to incorporate it into our own life now ! Even if you aren’t able to workout at the same capacity as you once did, at least you are doing SOMETHING ! and that’s a HUGE DEAL! I hope you have a great holiday season and try to enjoy every moment you can ! 🙂
-
Log in to reply.