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Are you a "black and white" thinker?
For a lot of my life, I have been a “black and white” thinker. It was always all or nothing for me, even through my school age years. Either I thought I did well on a test or I said to myself, “that’s it, I failed!” Either I had it together or felt like I was falling apart. It is still hard for me to find that in between zone that we all want to get to.
I have learned that acceptance and trying to reach acceptance over my medical conditions has been a help for me and my all or nothing and black and white thinking. Accepting my conditions looks a lot like going through the stages of grief. I feel like we have to allow ourselves to experience these stages as they come and accept it for what it is, and get help when we need it. All of this is easier said than done though.
Are you a “black and white” thinker like the most recent podcast talks about? Are you working on this “all or nothing” mentality?
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4 Replies
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Brittany, in my condition I learn to accept “ what is” and try not to think about what was or what if. I know that I am limited but I also know that I am not hopeless. There’s so many grey zone with my condition that I enjoy the “ today” and try not to worry about tomorrow.
Have a wonderful afternoon!-
Accepting what is can be so hard but it certainly helps to just live more in the moment. There are a lot of grey areas with our health and you’re smart in identifying the things you do have some type of control over.
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Have you ever read the Cathy cartoon? I remember years ago laughing at one a few days after the new year. It’s about her writing in her brand new journal of the year and accidentally using a different colored pen then the one she started out with. She tossed the journal and exclaimed, “That’s it, the journal is ruined!” Yeah, I related to it – cut it out and had it on my bedroom mirror for a long time.
I admire my son who had PH because he seems to be good at living in the moment. He doesn’t stress about the future and is fine with taking his time to reach his goals. If he meets a roadblock he works his way through it. Not to say he doesn’t have moments of anxiety or distress but for the most part, he has it way more together then I do.
He is good at being happy as long as he is doing the best that he can where I often worry that I’m not doing enough.
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Colleen,
I can totally relate to that cartoon myself ! That was me in school when I would do papers or reports. One thing wrong and I’m like “that’s it I’m starting all over again and nobody is stopping me !” My anxiety reached a whole new extreme through college because of this perfectionism mindset too. Luckily I had a therapist that helped me through this way of thinking and allowed me to see it in myself so I can do the right things to stop it or make if feel less anxiety ridden.
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