March 30, 2020 at 4:50 pm #24015
Dating is a challenge these days due to social distancing. Have you and your spouse or significant other made the decision to maintain social distancing when at home? If your special someone has an occupation that required that they continue attending work then you might have had to make that decision for your safety. Perhaps the both of you even decided to live separately for the time being.
If this is your situation, have you found some creative dating options? In another disease forum someone suggested ordering delivery from the same restaurant and video chat while eating together. You could also choose a movie or show to watch at the same time and text back and forth about what you are watching.
Do you have other suggestions? Please share.
March 31, 2020 at 7:02 am #24022
Colleen, @colleensteele this is something that has been hard for my boyfriend and I. I think that like all healthy relationships, there needs to be that distance sometimes. Whether it be trips out with my girlfriends or him hanging out with the guys on a Friday or Saturday night. I think this is one of the things that honestly keeps our relationship stronger. You mention not being able to be together as an obstacle, but I see not being APART as more of an obstacle since we are just with each other every single day. I think that if he worked from home alongside with me we would be at each other’s throats all the time hahahaha! I guess that’s what an almost 8 year relationship looks like after awhile LOL but i definitely miss my nights out with friends, as simple as they were.
March 31, 2020 at 5:49 pm #24063Jimi McintoshParticipant
PH by itself causes “ social distancing” , everyone afraid that you are a carrier. How many so called friends, acquaintances and relatives have deserted you or distanced themselves. Reminds me of the TB,Polio and measles epidemics. People are always afraid of the unknown, the incurable.
We watch movies and discuss all the plans that we got too busy working
To make a priority, there was always a tomorrow, one more challenge to take on, plenty time when we retire. Above all us we maintain the required 6 ft, no more sharing the same plate, no more holding hands without rubber gloves and no kissing without the M95 mask.
April 1, 2020 at 11:36 am #24067
Thanks, @colleensteele, this is a perfect topic and excellent idea about the movie for those apart. My husband is still working, he does use a separate bathroom and shower, but that is all. Friday night, my daughter sent me a pic of her and my “son-in-love” on date night. They picked up a curbside meal for under $20 and were on a blanket in a large park. I did not see anyone else around. I thought that was a great idea. I then took a pic of the shrimp and salmon that my hubby and I were about to eat and our La Croix waters. Not as fancy or romantic but we ate our dinner and watched Crip Camp, which is a great one.
Like Brittany, if my husband were at home working, we would drive one another nuts, Hehe
Last weekend, he was off three days, and he was driving me crazy. Finally, he decided to do his cycling outdoors. He was bored, and the walls were caving in for him so that I could feel the tension, Haha. Thank God that he could get out and ride his bike. He refused my offer to do yoga.
April 1, 2020 at 11:40 am #24068
@jimi, you make an excellent point! People do tend to “social distance” themselves from us once we are diagnosed with PH. Yes, afraid of the unknown, just as my last column discussed. Great tips!
I like that y’all are making plans and doing things that you have been too busy to do. May I ask you if you can share a few of your plans with us? What are y’all most wanting to do?
April 1, 2020 at 3:29 pm #24091
Jimi and all others on this post, intimacy and any type of physical contact has definitely gone OUT the window the past month (even close to 2 months). It is hard when you have a partner that works with the general public, because like you said Jimi, you need to keep your distance from them. This has been really hard for me. I don’t know about others, but I am one to bend the rules when it comes to suggested time to wait after surgeries and procedures for any type of intimacy. Seems like a strange topic to talk about, but I think it’s important. Are others noticing that their intimate moments with their partner have decreased because of everything going on and fear of catching an illness? Doesn’t have to be sexual intimacy, but even just kissing and holding hands. Any physical contact at this point.
April 1, 2020 at 5:39 pm #24094Jimi McintoshParticipant
Visit Paris, Brazil, and Hot Springs AR, see places that had a special meaning for us, visit one more time, and hopefully make it a stress-free time. You can miss so many things when you forget to stop and smell the roses. This virus maybe the last time some of us will be this close to those people that have stood by you and was there for good times and bad times.
I tried to do so many things for so many people and causes and I didn’t take time for myself. The hours spent making a business successful wasn’t appreciated. The sacrifices made, returned no benefits. The people you thought were your friends, had your back , like you had theirs. Hurts to find that they are not “the ride and die” variety.
I pray that for those that survive the virus, will become more caring and compassionate people. We have created a “royal” mess for our kids
April 2, 2020 at 7:33 am #24106
I get what you mean. I hope that after everyone gets out of quarantine people can look at life a little differently and have more appreciation and understanding for all that those with chronic illness go through on a daily basis. Monitoring of symptoms, staying away and distancing from people sometimes even for weeks at a time, taking care of and focusing on our health, etc. Those that are “healthy” may take this for granted and the simple pleasures in life for granted. Living with chronic illness has definitely helped mature me in so many ways and has helped me to see life differently and for that, I’m appreciative and grateful.
April 2, 2020 at 11:36 am #24116
@brittany-foster, I agree! Physical intimacy, even holding each other and kissing, had undoubtedly decreased. It is mostly me, as you know, for the fear that I will catch something. Like your Fiance, my hubby is still working. Although he primarily works alone, some of the areas at work are shared. Intimacy is important, even if it is the touch of his hand, hugs, and kisses. It is the worst when he comes home from work as I usually greet him with a kiss. It is the little, big things. Does that make sense?
April 2, 2020 at 11:43 am #24117
@jimi, those plans sound amazing! I am happy that y’all can think about these plans and how much y’all will enjoy the places. It is certainly important to stop and smell the roses. I believe that many more are figuring this out in such a turbulent time.
Before PH, I worked so much, in nursing, which I loved. But once I began sick, I thought about how much time I worked OT and took care of others. Although this was my career and I enjoyed it, I felt guilty for not taking that extra time to spend with my family and friends. I have also found out fast; most are the “ride or ride” friends. This was difficult to understand for years.
It will undoubtedly create so many issues for our kids and the future. Heartbreaking!
April 2, 2020 at 4:08 pm #24133
@jenc yes! That makes perfect sense to me. Even if it’s not too physical, just the simple things that I take for granted like being able to kiss him or even get within 6 feet from him is something that I have taken for granted. I definitely have learned over the years to really appreciate moments that we have together, but it is making things feel kind of distant to not be able to have that physical connection. It definitely is tough to deal with!
April 3, 2020 at 1:14 pm #24159
Vey true @brittany-foster. It is difficult and makes you think about things a bit more. Special memories are always something to I hold in my heart. Even if it was a Costo date night and dinner or going to the grocery store together and acting goofy. This morning, I told him how nice it would be if we could go to our favorite brunch spot. These are the things that we can look forward to.
April 3, 2020 at 1:55 pm #24171
@jenc I’m with you on the brunch dates ! I miss my breakfast dates with my fiance and usually his family would join us too. It has been hard not to have that time together and it’s something that I am really looking forward to having back as part of our normal that I’m missing right now. I hope we get there soon! I miss my omelettes. The ones that I try to make at home are never the same and take out just isn’t the same as being there either.
October 12, 2020 at 1:46 pm #27697
Because this continues to be part of our lives, how are y’all doing with date nights? Are you creative at home? For us, we have ordered pick up or food delivery more. We also tend to eat whatever we want that night. I call this a “fend for yourself” kind of night. Manny, my hubby, may have leftovers or cereal. I may have grilled cheese or soup. Other ideas, we have started doing more brunch at home. This is not the same, but we tend to do this once a week. Usually, this is a Friday or Saturday when he is off, we lounge around and do not even start to think of food until at least 10 AM.
What about in your homes? How has date night changed? This could be with your significant others or your friends.
October 12, 2020 at 5:11 pm #27701
@jenc home life for the Steele family is the same as yours. Except, we are night owls soooo on the weekends we are often just waking at 10AM. For my birthday we ordered pick-up from our favorite Italian restaurant. It was delicious and special because we save this particular place for special occasions.
We have “fend for yourself” nights too. I like your title for it. Usually it’s an announcement at some part of the day…”Everyone is on their own for dinner tonight”.
October 13, 2020 at 1:50 pm #27714
Yes, love this @colleensteele. I was a late sleeper until the past year. It seems like my late is 9. I am usually up before 8 AM now. Often we do stay up late too, some night until about 1 AM if we are watching a good movie. I do often fall asleep in my recliner or the couch. But then it takes a while when I get to my bed to go back to sleep.
Thanks, those “fend for yourself ” nights often are some of the best, hehe.
Do y’all ever have a “clean out the fridge night”? My mom always did this when we were kids, and I learned that it was almost payday.
October 13, 2020 at 5:51 pm #27725
October 13, 2020 at 7:53 pm #27728V.R. PetersonParticipant
My husband and I go to restaurants that only have take-out (we don’t want to risk catching something from a worker who catches it from a customer in the lobby or at a table). If they’ve got a drive-through window, we use that. Our favorite Chinese place keeps their door open with a table in the doorway. That’s where we pay and pick up our food. We always get something for our pup, too. Once we get home, we find a movie on Amazon Prime and have date night at home.
October 14, 2020 at 9:18 am #27736
LOL< @colleensteele, that is too funny. I grew up on leftovers, so certain foods, I am OK with, but my hubby was the worst about not eating leftovers. He now does on certain items, but others because we cook too much is wasted. A PHriend taught me to start freezing individual dishes of leftovers for later. I did this for a while when my oldest nephew started UT. He would take them back when he came to visit. But now, I have not been doing that.
I hate to waste food, but we do tend to at times. I am the worst about (pre-pandemic) keeping my leftovers because one meal makes about 3 for me, and then I end up tossing it out after all.
Who loves leftovers, and who is against leftovers? What foods are your fave leftovers? Spaghetti for me and meatloaf if I can tolerate it, I like to make a sandwich with the leftovers. I am in this local grocery cooking group, and one lady, I kid you not, does not waste anything. I am amazed at some of her creations.
October 14, 2020 at 9:22 am #27737
That is funny, @mamabear007. Our fave family Chinese place is set up like that. You do not go inside; they have the door open and have a table outside the doorway to pick up orders. They will also bring it to your car. My hubby usually gets out to thank them and tip them.
We also use Amazon Prime and Netflix for movie date nights. I love this! Thanks for sharing. Sasha would be upset because we do not get anything for her, LOL
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