-
Disordered eating thoughts when physical symptoms increase
I have been in recovery from an eating disorder (anorexia) since age 18. One of the hardest parts about being in recovery is seeing how my physical illness impacts my eating disorder thoughts. When I am experiencing an acute illness or having severe symptoms, I find it physically difficult to eat proper meals. Bloating from PH, fluid retention, and stomach distention makes it nearly impossible to enjoy what I’m eating.
I have been looking for ways to help manage this and still get the nutrition I need to keep my mind functioning at the highest level possible. During these difficult days, I try my hardest to avoid eating disorder behaviors such as food restriction. I remind myself that the weight gain I experience from fluid retention, is in fact fluid and not “fat”. Keeping track of what I’m eating does help me to see exactly what nutrients I’m getting when I’m feeling unwell. If it is particularly hard for me to weigh myself, I rely on my doctors or my mom to take a blind weight for me (meaning I don’t know the number). If it is over a certain amount from the day before, I know to take an extra lasix as directed by my doctor.
It is hard to manage an eating disorder or have disordered eating thoughts when physical symptoms keep me from eating. Have you ever experienced difficulty with eating food due to your physical symptoms? What do you do to make sure you are receiving the proper nutrition while also taking care of your body and managing discomfort? Do smaller meals work better for you? Has anyone also had an eating disorder or body image struggles?
-
10 Replies
-
Oh, this topic hits right up my alley! I, too, have an eating disorder, but mine is compulsive overeating. I think for me it’s a control issue. I was doing OK until I got PH, then went berserk with the eating. It took me about a year to figure out that because I can’t control the PH, I use food instead. And by controlling, I mean I eat what I want. Just recently, I’ve gotten back to tracking my food again. My brain/emotions are rebelling. They don’t like the restriction on the food (kind of like the restrictions the PH has put on my body). I’ll keep working at it.
-
Beverly,
Thank you for being so honest in your post. I know how hard it is to be vulnerable with this. I completely understand where you’re coming from finding that need for “control”. It’s especially hard in the days we feel as though we don’t have much control of our bodies and how they are feeling. For me, tracking my food holds me accountable to make sure I’m getting the nutrients I need. I know for some , tracking could be a trigger and they use the help of a dietitian (I had one for years). Know that I understand your struggles and I’m with you !
-
-
Wow, this sounds so hard. I’m not going to say much because I have never struggled with an eating disorder, but I’m really impressed with the solutions you’ve found to stay healthy with multiple and often conflicting diseases. Blind weighing is a great idea for anyone with an eating disorder who needs to monitor fluid retention. Thank you for sharing this – will you write about it more in a column?
-
Hi Kathleen,
Yes I am definitely going to write about it in a column. I hope to write one soon about things that help with poor body image says or what to do when it’s difficult to eat. I’m still learning some ways to cope so I’ll be sure to write about that too!
-
-
I don´t have eating disorder, but because since November I had nausea 24/7, I eat very, very little. I eat only till 10-11 am at work and then little when I got home from work around 6pm. Then I usually vomited that little dinner. Because of eating like this for several months, my stomach got much smaller and since I was diagnosed in april this year, I don´t have appetite, mood for food. Jaw pain all day is adding to that lack of appetite.
I don´t know, what to cook, because I don´t know, how to cook so little portion of meal. I made risotto from one portion of rice and I still wasn´t able to eat it all, it got wasted. I made baked vegetables, the same.
On thursday I ate one piece of bread, then half of cup of soup and one hot dog. That was all I ate all day. And I wasn´t hungry, my stomach didn´t growl. So now I eat only little from what my mom cook during weekend.-
Hi Martina,
it can be really hard when other things are a factor! I know that it is always hard for me to eat when I am feeling nauseous or have other Gastrointestinal symptoms that prevent me from either eating or holding food down. I try to do a lot of shakes and meal supplement shakes on days like this and smaller meals that are more calorie dense such as granola and adding things like protein powder in where I can!
-
-
I have struggled with eating, both with PH and after my lung transplant. Before I would get full very quickly with the bloating, like some of you. My job then prevented me from eating regularly throughout the day and I would come home so hungry that I ate junk sometimes or something that wasn’t good for me. I knew better too but knowing doesn’t always help. I have been keeping a food diary for over a decade now, since I had cancer and was experiencing some long-term effects of the treatment. What worked best for me was not bringing unhealthy stuff into the house, except for special occasions and only as much as I needed for the meal. I also relied on a plant-based protein shake every morning so I would get enough protein. After transplant, I couldn’t eat most of the food I was being served and my doctors ordered a high protein pudding for me 2 times per day, then an Ensure Clear drink for protein. I could never drink Ensure without vomiting during chemo so I wouldn’t try that but the Clear is palatable; CVS carries it. I had to change my protein shake but I found one at the local GNC that my transplant team approved. Drinking shakes also decreased the jaw pain with PH drugs; that jaw pain for me was usually just during the first bite or 2 so manageable most of the time. Eating post-transplant is different. I have to limit the foods I love because of the potassium, sugar, or whatever; I have to watch yogurt, kale, spinach, potatoes, sweets and salt. Most things still taste like metal to me so not much of an appetite but I force myself to eat because I was so thin and weak. Oddly, cucumbers, green peppers, pears, and oatmeal are always good to me but not a balanced diet; protein shakes are my go-to.
I am sorry that many people struggle with eating issues, with or without PH. I would be very interested, Brittany, in hearing more from you and I look forward to that column. Martina, I am so so sorry that you are struggling; I hope it gets better for you soon and I wish I could help. I don’t know how long you have been dealing with PH and on these drugs but I believe it will get better for you- Keep the faith!
-
Thanks so much for your feedback Kaye.
The bloating is definitely still something that prevents me from eating as much as I should. Other times, I honestly don’t have much of an appetite if I am feeling unwell and especially if I have to be hospitalized for any reason. It takes a bit for me to get my appetite back. I try to do some snacks throughout the day. The clear ensure would probably be better tasting and I am turned off from ensure too after basically being forced to have it in the hospital. Certain things I have a taste aversion to like ensure, green jello, and apple juice because of the hospitals !
-
-
I think I don’t have an eating disorder… but probably have serious body image problems being a guy because my upper body proportions are seriously the wrong way around from the “Adonis” stereotype.
I think I have the same coping mechanism as Britt – tracking diet. I’m a strict low-carber because I’d have to be on insulin otherwise with diabetes rampant in my family. Whether one wants to call that an eating disorder or simply attempting to eat right is, well, a personal call.
-
Hi VK,
For me, it has been an eating disorder because it caused me to seriously limit my intake of food to the point where I was malnourished. It became more of a mental illness for me. But I can also see the side of wanting to track food and stay on top of this to stay healthy and make sure you are eating well too. It is when it becomes an obsession that is hard to break out of that it needs to be evaluated and talked about !
-
Log in to reply.