Grieving The Loss of a Pet

[jen-cueva]

Hi @colleensteele, how is Cullen doing after he’s been home a few days? How are you and Brian? I know Cullen was closest to Mellow, but she’s been with your family for years. She’s been there and a huge part of many milestones for Cullen. He must be feeling lost without her.

I hope that Cullen knows how much love he gave Mellow. She was such a lucky dog to be chosen to be his companion. I can imagine that Mellow also showed Cullen how to to comfort others. That will help him in years to come. Despite the heartache and rollercoaster of emotions, Cullen has those cherished memories with Mellow. I bet you have many pictures of the two of them through the years. Have you thought of making a scrapbook, album, or even a blanket with some of those memories? I know a lady on Etsy; I had to do one for my mother when my stepdad passed. It’s a throw blanket, and she uses it to keep warm but also for comfort. Maybe an idea for a gift for Cullen in the future. He could keep that throw blanket through many new adventures in life.

[Colleen]

@jenc I’m sorry for just responding to this now. I somehow missed it.

I was going to make a collage for his room before he returned home but something told me to ask him first. He said he wasn’t ready for that but probably would appreciate it in the future.

I think he is ready for it now. Yesterday he let me look at what the vet sent home with Mellow’s ashes, a mold of her paw print and some of her fur vacuum sealed in a card. He has them displayed on his desk and put her little dog bed on his computer share and her box of ashes on top of it.

I LOVE the idea of the throw blanket more than a collage. Cullen has a thing for throw blankets, lol. He has several and they all have a memory attached to them – either someone special gave it to him or he used it during his PH days or transplant recovery. I know he would really like a throw blanket of Mellow. Do you by any chance have the link to the person you used?

[jen-cueva]

Hi @colleensteele, no worries, you have an overflowing plate, my FWW, and my friend.

My heart smiled as I read the part about Mellow’s ashes and bed near Cullen.

I knew he was a cuddle guy, so I thought a throw blanket would be excellent. I’ll look on Etsy, find the shop I used, and send that your way.

Thanks for sharing such personal details with us all. Your stories help others feel less alone and comforted.

How are you doing after the loss of Mellow? Although she was technically Cullen’s fur baby, she has a special place in your hearts.

[Jill Upshaw]

I had to put my cat to sleep a few months ago. He was 17 years old and was so sick. I cried and cried but I got it done. He had been my mother’s cat and he was so smart. Nothing got past Jack. I called him my guard cat. He basically saved my mother years ago. She was unconscious in the floor at her assisted living. Jack climbed on the trash can, opened the door, went down two long hallways, and reached up to the people in the office like he was begging for help. They knew immediately something was wrong and ran to my mom’s apartment. He then stood over her until EMS got there and got her loaded. I loved that boy.

[Colleen]

@upshtcx I got goosebumps reading about Jack and how he saved your mom! I mean, that is a movie worthy event! Wow, and to have lived 17 years is rather remarkable too! Thank you so much for sharing this story! I’m going to tell my family about it!

I am truly sorry you had to put Jack down. It’s such a hard thing to go through but it is the loving thing to do when they start to suffer. The grief comes in waves, doesn’t it? I’ll be doing find and every now and then something will make me think of Mellow and I will tear up. Hugs to you while you deal with the loss of your fur baby.

[jen-cueva]

Oh wow, @upshtcx, I’m so sorry about the loss of your cat, Jack. It must be tough after 17 years, and he was your mom’s cat. Incredible how he saved her and went and got help at her assisted living home.

What a story that gave me “goosies” as I read through your story. Our fur babies are amazing, and we become so connected with them.

Our mini schnauzer, Sasha, saved my life. I wrote a column about her. We had to rehome her not long ago because she wasn’t adjusting to condo life. I haven’t shared that part of rehoming often because it kills me. I felt like I had given up on her, but she started being aggressive and even attempting to bite me. We had her for about 7-8 years. She was there and cried as she would jump on me as I returned home from hospitalization. I continue to cry at times as I wonder how she’s doing.

Here’s that column, if you want to read it about when she saved me. I haven’t written about rehoming her; it’s too difficult. My last hospitalization, last year, was the first time in years that I came home to no Sasha! Hugs to you, my PHriend.

[jen-cueva]

So, I had to share here about our new fur baby! Manny has been having puppy fever for some time. We both have missed our Sasha girl.

However, I was hesitant, knowing what my mom and a few friends ( @cdvol3gmail-com) were) going through with the puppies. He knew if I ever went to “look,” I couldn’t resist.

Well, fast forward a few months. This week we welcomed Zoë, a 9-week-old salt and pepper mini schnauzer. She is adorable, tiny, and a ball of energy. Just yesterday was the first night she slept until almost 6 AM. I’m home with her every day when Manny is at work, so guess who gets to train her? The first two days, I was dead tired! But thankfully, we are finding a better schedule that works for her and me both.

Our little pup totally smites us. 🙂 She’s already displaying a spunky and curious personality and loves cuddles.

[Colleen]

@jenc oh my gosh! I am so happy for you and Manny! It sounds like Zoe is a perfect match for you, wants down time to cuddle but will also keep you moving a little each day. Send me a pic of her when you get the chance!

I feel like an awful friend though! Jen, I didn’t know you had to rehome Sasha. I’m so sorry! That must have been really hard but necessary. I hope the memories of your time with her will bring you peace. Big hugs to you!

Now go take a break to cuddle Zoe!

[jen-cueva]

Hi @colleensteele, thanks so much for your kind words and excitement. Yes, we are already in love with Zoë (Bug) and excited that she is already sleeping through the night. This is week 2 with us.

Oh boy, is she full of energy! If only I had a tad of her spunk, hehe. @cdvol3gmail-com knows all about this, especially since Mr. Cloud is only six months old.

I’ll send you a picture of her this morning isn’t too early.

Yes, I thought I mentioned to you about Sasha; it was one of the most difficult decisions we made. Thanks again for your continued support, my FWW.

Has Cullen mentioned getting another dog recently? Do you think he will wait some time? It isn’t easy when we are so used to having them around and loving us. Big hugs to you all.

[Carol Volckmann]

Hi Jen and Colleen. There is no wayvin the world you can replace a fur child. They will always remain deep in your heart forever.

When we decided to have another puppy it was not to replace Spirit  – impossible – but to add new love and joy back into our home.

Nothing can ever replace Sasha. Zoe already is adding new energy, joy and love. Nothing will ever replace Collen’s fur buddy.

Cloud is so completely different, extreme energy, extremely smart and at 9bweeks old he already stole our hearts.

One day I hope Collen will be ready to find there is room in his heart to add more joy and love.

It is exhausting, sometimes frustrating but the joy and love makes up for it.

Go Zoe!!!

[jen-cueva]

Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, you’re exactly right, my PHriend! They are all so unique with their special personalities. You can never replace a fur baby.

Yes, Zoe is not a replacement for Sasha and already is so different. You hit the nail on the head; exhausting, at times frustrating, but with lots of love and joy.

I think once we have had a fur baby with us for so long, we feel like something is missing when they are gone. I never thought we would get another puppy so fast, but now I’m grateful we did. Let’s hope once I hit “submit,” she doesn’t make me take those words back, hehe. I’m kidding; she’s a ball of love even when she doesn’t do what she is supposed to.

Have a wonderful new week. y’all and share the love with those around you.

[Colleen]

@jenc I hope you didn’t tell me about Sasha because if you did then I am an awful listener and owe you a BIG apology!

Yes, Cullen wants to adopt another dog and soon! My guess by Spring early Summer we will be welcoming a new addition to our family.

[jen-cueva]

Hi @colleensteele, no worries, my friend and FWW! You are an excellent listener. It was months ago, maybe in the summer, so maybe it slipped your mind. I don’t recall which month it was, but it was before August.

I am looking forward to hearing about the new fur baby Cullen brings home soon as the temps warm up. That’s quicker than I expected, but again, Zoë was also sooner than I thought we would start over. It’s something missing once you are so used to having one with you.

[Carol Volckmann]

Colleen, I am so sorry. When I typed out a reply in regards to Cullen loosing Mellow, the auto correct typed your name in. I know the loss of Mellow was very diffucult for you also.

It is so hard – we still cry over the loss of our first Golden, River, then loosing Spirit just did us in. He truly was a Spirit, seaking out thise who needed extra love from either physical pain or emotional.

TIME and memories that make you smile even laugh. Memories of the unconditional love, memories of what they taught us! Dick and I are better people because of them.

And now we have Cloud. Yes, he is a handful but so ready with that uncondional love to give, makes us laugh, makes us learn from him – building memories.

Jen re-homing Sasha was a loving thing you did for her. Her anxiety, her not adusting to condo life made her life anxious and fearful. I am so sorry for you and Manny going through that. Knowing she is still Sasha and happy and all the memories are there. She saved your life and you saved hers.

[Colleen]

@cdvol3gmail-com no worries! You know we honestly didn’t give his Cullen his name because it is close to mine. It wasn’t even something we thought about. We loved the name Cullen, that was really the only reason he was named that. We still love the name but we did not think about the confusion it would cause. Walgreen’s pharmacists really struggle with this.

I picked up a med he needed last week, or at least I thought I did. They asked me for his birthday yet when I got home I discovered they gave me my meds and not his. Obviously they paid zero attention to the birthdate I provided.

Anyway, you put well into words what I have been thinking regarding @jenc rehoming Sasha. It was the loving thing to do.

I’m so happy that you adopted Cloud. It sounds like he fills your hearts more than your hands. ❤️

[Loera]

Some people also find it helpful to create a memorial for their pet, such as a scrapbook or photo album, to honor their memory and celebrate their life. Others may find solace in volunteering at an animal shelter or making a donation in their pet’s name to a pet-related charity.

Everyone grieves differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to cope with the loss of a pet. The most important thing is to take the time you need to process your emotions and find ways to remember and honor your pet in a way that feels meaningful to you.

[jen-cueva]

Hi @jenefree, what excellent suggestions you offer. I know many find volunteering at animal shelters or working with animals therapeutic.

For example, @dawnt was working with horses which she loved. Dawn, have you been back to the stables lately?

Loera, I love your last paragraph about everyone grieving differently and allowing yourself to feel emotions. Have you experienced the loss of a pet? Do you have any pets now?

[Colleen]

@jenefree I like the idea of a memorial of some sort. Our vet gave us a mold of Mellow’s paw and a vacuum sealed small see through bag of her fur with a card. We really appreciated it!

Cullen is healing and starting to talk about getting another dog soon. I’ve waited to allow him time to grieve but I’m eventually going to have a throw blanket made for him of pics of Mellow. @jenc gave me that lovely idea.

[Dawn]

Hi @jenc, yes I do still go to the farm. I’ve only been going on Saturdays because I felt like I wasn’t much help with Monday evening feeding because I move so slow right now.  I don’t stay as long as I used to on Saturdays, and certainly don’t do as much as I used to, but I won’t give up being around the horses until I’d absolutely have to.

I agree that everyone grieves in their own way, I think it’s the only way we can get through these losses. I also believe that I will be with all those I’ve lost over the years (whether people, pets, all loved ones). No matter how much time passes until we’re together again, it will seem like only moments once we’re together again.

[jen-cueva]

Hi @dawnt, it’s great to hear from you and know you continue to help with the horses on Saturdays. The temperatures should warm up, so you can enjoy more beautiful days. No matter how slow you are, I know the horses don’t mind, and sure, the people in charge don’t either. You have a strong passion and connection with the horses; I know it’s therapeutic for you and those horses.

Like you, I’ve always thought about when we all meet one day again. Yes, our loved ones, including pets, and this will then seem like only a brief time we were without them. However, here on earth, it seems like forever, some days when we miss loved ones or grieve the loss of pets.

How are your boys doing, by the way? Have you had any updates on your breathing and recent progression, Dawn?

Have a great new week ahead, and please don’t be a stranger, my dear PHriend. Hugs are coming your way.

[Colleen]

@dawnt it makes me happy to hear that you don’t plan on stopping your visits to the farm even if they are brief. I can’t imagine a better kind of therapy!

I found your thoughts about the passing of pets and all loved ones so beautiful. I also believe that someday we will all be together again!

[jen-cueva]

Hey @traceyaustralianmigration-co-za, I am thinking of you today and wanted to check-in. How is the situation with your fur babies? How are you doing this new week? Please check in and let us know. I shared this here since this is about giving the loss of a pet.

Hugs and love for your new week ahead, my PHriend!

[Tracey]

Hi @jenc, as it happens it’s Onesie’s 4th monthiversary today (check FB for the curest pic). We have a plan afoot to try and get her home at least the days Carole works. At the moment Carole’s son take the boys for at least an hours walk a day, and we sneak Onesie in while they’re out. At first Billy would sniff every conceivable space when he got home, but now he doesn’t even bother so he’s getting used to her smell. The behavioral therapist has suggested that Onesie join the walk for the last 10 mins so Billy gets used to her presence, then build it up into a game in the garden etc. until Billy tolerates her. I have hope. It just breaks my heart that I can’t be part of the walking process – in fact it actually makes me quite angry. It burns my butt that I miss out on these adventures. Carole’s son takes loads of videos for me but it’s not the same.

 

Anyway next week I travel to Johannesburg to see the pulmonologist, endocrinologist, neurologist and a new rheumatologist. It is so time for a new rheumatologist, the lupus/myositis/dermatomyositis is beating me up at the moment and my current rheumy doesn’t seem to know what to do or is unavailable. My ex business partner is the world’s greatest hypochondriac and his favorite saying when he didn’t feel like working was, I feel as weak as a kitten. Used to drive me up the wall, but at the moment I want to steal the saying. It still drives me up the wall that the man is 25 years my senior, has more doctors appointments and tests than I do, and is then quite disappointed when there’s nothing wrong with him. Glad he’s out of my life- sort of. One of the first times I was in hospital he arrived to visit me with a pile of client files. I don’t know what look took over my face but he literally walked in, didn’t even say hello, and walked back out again 😂 He’s a self indulgent narcissist.

 

I diverge from the original question. We’re working really hard at getting the doggos together, and keep our fingers crossed. I probably wouldn’t go to this much trouble if they were human babies – I’d put them in a room and let them sort out their differences themselves. Probably a good job I don’t have human babies 🤣.

Thanks for checking on me @jenc, it means a lot to me. Lots of love and hugs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Colleen]

@traceyaustralianmigration-co-za I just looked at the FB picture of Onesie! Oh my gosh, so adorable! That sweet face, oh my gosh!

I will keep you upcoming appointments in my prayers. Fingers crossed the new rheumatologist will be better able to help you!

I know it’s not funny but when you mentioned your facial expression when your ex-business partner showed up at the hospital with work I laughed out loud picturing what that might have looked like. Probably a lot like my “Don’t EVEN” look I muster up sometimes!

It’s good to hear from you. Update us when you feel up to it.

[jen-cueva]

Hi @traceyaustralianmigration-co-za, Happy belated birthday to Onesie! I’ll have to look at FB and see that cute pic once I am done here.

It sounds like your ex-business partner needed to go. You have enough on your plate, my PHriend. Like, @colleensteele, I can only imagine that look on your face. Hehe.

Too funny about human babies. My late stepdad always made us fight it out and hug it. You would make an excellent human baby momma.

You’re in my continued thoughts and prayers as you travel to Johannesburg next week for your appointments. Please keep us posted and let us know how we can best support you.

[Tracey]

@colleensteele, @jenc I’ve just 5 minutes ago seen the funniest t-shirt. It has printed on it, If my mouth doesn’t say it, my face definitely will! I’ve got to get one of those made.🤣

[Colleen]

@traceyaustralianmigration-co-za both a shirt and a warning! I love it when something serves more than one purpose!😉

[jen-cueva]

Hi @traceyaustralianmigration-co-za, I LOVE that tee shirt. I know many of us could use one of those. But the time you shared above would have been an excellent addition to have had been wearing that t-shirt. Hehe.

OMG, little Onesie is too cute! I did peek at him but haven’t yet responded. Our little Zoë will be 4 months on April 8th, so she is a tad behind Onesie, so you feel those growing pains.

Yesterday we met with a puppy trainer; she is doing much better than I thought. So we are on the right track. Of course, the trainer had some new suggestions and things to work with her on now. And puppy training for the potty is no accidents x 30 days! OMG, with this wet weather, it almost feels impossible some days. She and I both may melt out there, hehe. Today is Day 1 again…