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    • #35442
      Brenda Denzler

      Felt like a PoP yesterday after lunch. PoP = piece of poo! Took BP (low), etc. Then remembered I have a Kardia mobile ECG device, which gives you a one-lead ECG. So I did it. I’ve never seen a read-out like that for anyone, least of all for me. Shared it with my PCP, who told me to get a full ECG.

      So I did that today. Nine friggin’ hours in the ER. First thing they did was give me an ECG. When three hours had passed and they hadn’t come to get me for blood work yet, I knew they didn’t suspect a heart attack. (Troponin in the bloodwork indicates recent heart attack. It’s often tested in cases like mine.) If they had thought I was having a heart attack, they would have had me in back in a bed and hooked up to things really fast. So I said I was going to go. The ER doctor told me that there was a “change” in my ECG compared to my baseline from months ago. I needed to be worked up to try to find out why things had changed. So I stayed. And stayed. And stayed…..

      When I finally got back to a bed, the doctor told me my ECG looked just fine. No problems! Which was NOT what the doctor in the afternoon had told me, to try to keep me there.

      So I guess I have more proof now that whatever problems I’m having are not due to cardiac issues. For a couple of hours, there, I thought maybe I wouldn’t be going to Boston in October for that test. I thought maybe someone had finally come up with an answer here in NC. But, alas!


    • #35443
      Colleen Steele

      @brendad53 I’m so sorry my friend! The best I can do is commiserate with you. I’ve been having health issues as of late and getting no answers too, including a long ER visit last month. I don’t know if you are a prayer or not but I’ll pray for you and maybe you can pray or think positive thoughts for me.

      Just don’t give up. I still believe answers will be found for you.

      • #35447
        Brenda Denzler

        Sorry to hear you’re having ER-worthy health issues, too, Colleen. I will indeed pray as well as visualize good outcomes for you.

        What is really getting to me, today, is letting the fact sink in that they lied to me to keep me in the ER, when I could have safely left within minutes, much less hours. They told me there was a change over an earlier, baseline ECG…a “fact” that the doctor ultimately denied. Everything about my ECG was normal.

        I’m just really pissed.

      • #35533
        Carol Volckmann

        Colleen, I am so sorry to hear your health issues last month brought you to the ER and without answers. It breaks my heart when seek medical advice and the answers are nit there! Have you sought out additional medical advice – 2nd opinions etc. Just saying.

        If you have not received answers yet I wonder – if this was the case with Collen or any other family member, what did or would do for them? I say this as in topics that have been brought up, you have admitted not taking care of yourself as much as you could, waiting so long to make appointments etc.

        Please be good to yourself and don’t you give up!, You are in my prayers and good wishes always. Sending positive energy, vibes and gentle hugs ❤

        • #35538
          Jen Cueva

          Thank you, sweet @cdvol3gmail-com, for your heartfelt words to @colleensteele. I agree that she has mentioned that she often neglects to care for herself. But Cullen and her family are well taken care of; she would not stop until she got some answers.

          I wonder if a rheumatologist would be helpful since it’s been a long time since you’ve seen one, Colleen? I know making these appointments and hearing that “all is ok” is frustrating when you know your body too well.

          You are so loved and cared for, Colleen. You, too, are with the best care and you, too, deserve answers. Do you need some stand-in advocates? I bet Carol and I would do it and many more here because you are always kind, helpful, and supportive.

          Thanks again, @cdvol3gmail-com, for this reminder – hugs and prayers are with you both. <3

        • #35551
          Colleen Steele

          @cdvol3gmail-com that you my dear friend for caring so much about me. My next step is an appointment with a neurologist in September. I get the impression that none of the doctors have given up on me. They do believe I have neuropathy and I guess there are still other avenues to look at.

          I do have rheumatologist because of RA, or at least that is what he suspects I have. I haven’t been to him since last year because I was having bad side-effects from the treatment I was on and dur to my long-QT I don’t think there are other options for me. But I have been thinking about scheduling an appointment and seeing if he has an opinion about this.

          Even thought blood work, BP and EKG’s look actually, really good, I’m still a little concerned this might be heart related. So, I might make a call to my cardiologist too except it hasn’t been that long since my last appointment, and everything was fine then. Agh, I don’t know. Maybe because of what I have been through with Cullen I am stressing too much that something important is getting missed when in fact I am fine and it’s a minor issue.

    • #35451
      Jen Cueva

      Oh no, @brendad53, I feel your frustration, my PHriend. I’m so sorry. I am saddened that the first doctor lied to keep you there for 9 hours without explanation or need to be there. I hope this doesn’t frustrate you so much that you will decide against going to Boston. I think you will get the answers you deserve soon. Hang in a little longer; yeah, easier said than done.

      How are you feeling today minus angry and frustrated? I would guess exhausted, too. Nine hours at the ER takes a toll, even if you are doing nothing.

      You’re in my continued thoughts and prayers, and I know you will get the answers soon. I hate that you’ve had so much to get there; it sucks and is exhausting. It is also sad to know that someone has to wait that long for an actual diagnosis and feel so bad knowing something is wrong.

      Hopefully, you and @colleensteele both get some deserved answers soon and some relief so you can start feeling better. Hugs and prayers are coming to you both.

      Brenda, cuddle with Maggie Mae and enjoy a relaxing weekend.

      • #35455
        Brenda Denzler

        Thanks, Jen. I vacillate between trying to be adult about it all and just shrug it off and being PO’d that I was lied to in order to try to get me to stay for so long for no real reason. But no, it doesn’t change my determination to go to Boston.

        I note that the automated ECG readout analysis (by the machine, not the physician) says there is evidence of possibly some left atrial enlargement. Of course, the physician in the ER at the END of the evening blew that off as just the machine over-reading the data. But I have to wonder….

        I’ve had the machine indicate several times in the last 13 years that I have had a small heart attack at some point in my past, and yet the physicians invariably say no I haven’t and later ECGs will not indicate a heart attack. And then, lo and behold!, another ECG for some reason will say that yes, I *have* had a heart attack in the past. And the physician blows it off again. This has happened multiple times. At least 3-4 in the last 13 years. So I am sure that something is out of the ordinary, but it’s not so grossly out of the ordinary that it shows up every single time with an ECG. Thus, it is of uncertain significance.

        Here’s what I know is out of the norm for me: (1) lower sub segmental dead space in my right lung; (2) multiple pulmonary nodules of varying number and sizes, growing in number and size veerrryyyyyyy slowly; (3) possible very small heart attack in my past; and now (4) possible enlargement of my left atrium(?).

        I keep trying to put the pieces together to create a coherent picture, because God knows the doctors don’t ever seem to do this. But so far, it’s all very uncertain.

        • #35458
          Jen Cueva

          Hi @brendad53, I can understand where you want to be the adult, but also PO’d at them for lying. You are an excellent keeper of all things and trying to connect the pieces of your health. I hate you’ve had to wait so many years to be heard and validated. That’s horrible, and others go through it, too. So disheartening.

          I know that your skills in record and note-taking will pay off eventually. I also know your determination and resilience have shined many times through the years. When you could easily give up, you keep moving forward and know that something is off, and you deserve answers and some relief. However, some answers would offer you the most relief after all these years of jumping through hurdles over and over.

          I hate that it’s been so difficult for you, but thankful you keep going. You’re a rock star, my friend.

    • #35452
      Jen Cueva

      Quick note, I loved your new word, PoP, @brendad53. Not love that you feel like poo, but your use of the word. That’s too funny and I’ve not seen anyone use that before, LOL

      Take care and rest up, my friend.

      • #35456
        Brenda Denzler


        It sounds so innocent, doesn’t it? “I feel like a PoP.”

        A milder form of POS, eh? 🙂 When we want to clean up our language and make it fit for children and online forums. 😉


        • #35459
          Jen Cueva

          LOL, so true, @brendad53. Does that mean the grands know what PoP means when you say it? Or do they think you need a soda or are about to pop?

          I admire that although you had such a DFH yesterday, you continue to bring laughter to the forums. Thank you, you’re amazing!

        • #35465
          Brenda Denzler

          The grands are clueless, Jen. They have not yet tumbled to the idea that their grandma is a foul-mouthed old lady!

          Well…they may have a clue. I have a t-shirt that says, “Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.” When my 8-year-old GS commented on it, I asked him if he understood why it was a funny t-shirt. He seemed to.

          And I have an alpha-gal t-shirt that declares I am “allergic to bull sh*t.” But no asterisk!

          And for that matter, I have been known to curse in front of them. I catch myself and tell them not to talk like I just did because it sounds like h*ll.

          Maybe my grands are on to me after all?

        • #35467
          Colleen Steele

          @brendad53 this has me laughing out loud…in other words it’s not so much, “Do what grandma says and not what she does,” but more like, “Do what grandma says but don’t say what she says!”. Too funny!

        • #35475
          Jen Cueva

          LOL, @brendad53, it sounds like the grands have caught on early to you. Too funny that your 8-year-old grandson knew why your t-shirt was funny. Now, you’re safe until he requests you get him one to wear to school.

          It’s funny; at times, those swear words may slip. I caught myself last week with some friends after a glass of wine, then noticed one’s 6-year-old staring at me. I quickly changed my word to…FUDGGGGGEEEE. He started laughing and saying it after that. Kids are great to keep us laughing.

    • #35514
      Debbie Moore

      @brendad53 at one moment I am feeling terrible with what you are having to go through with finding a diagnosis and being inconvenienced, then the next moment you are cracking me up you old PoP!  It’s always good to end everything with a smile.

      I am amazed at your knowledge and keeping up with your health information.  I am probably not the advocate that I should  be for myself.  I don’t keep any records (which I should).  You are an inspiration.

      • #35515
        Brenda Denzler

        Thanks, Debbie. I’ve actually been having a few good days, recently, so I guess that would make me, recently, a PPoP. A Powerful Piece of Poop. 🙂

        As for my knowledge and keeping up with health info, part of that is just who I am. I read a lot (mostly non-fiction), and I’ve always been one to learn more about whatever interests me. When health issues emerge, of course I try to read up on those and become more informed. But another part of this is the fact that I have medical PTSD — treatment-related trauma from when I was 5 years old. This translates into not readily (if at all) trusting the world of medicine and the medical profession.

        For many years I had a recurring nightmare wherein one person or a small group of people was preparing to do something to me “for my own good.” The kicker was that they never talked to me about it, either to inform me or get my ideas on the situation or simply try to get my buy-in with what was going to happen. They were just going to do it, and nothing could say or do would get their attention and affect what was about to occur. I’d wake up in a panic, sometimes crying, too.

        So becoming more knowledgeable and trying to stay on top of things, health-wise, is one way for me to cope with those feelings of being ignored and victimized. It makes me feel safer–at least to some extent. In other words, it’s a part of my pathology! 🙂

        Let’s hear it for adaptive traits that exist for maladaptive reasons! Rah! Rah! 😉

        • #35526
          Jen Cueva

          Hi @brendad53, I’m so happy that you’ve been a PPoP this week; hehe.

          I admire your strength and courage to move past your medical trauma and continue to fight for answers. That childhood trauma will never disappear; I know it’s easy for others to say otherwise. But it will always be with you, even if you have tried pushing it back.

          Your wanting to learn all you can about your health concerns is applaudable. That in itself takes time and energy to research and determine which is a credible source, etc. But you’re intelligent and know where to gather information from.

          When you worked, what did you do, again, Brenda? Did you share that, and I forgot already?

          , your kind words, and support for Brenda make my heart happy. This is such an extraordinary group.

        • #35527
          Brenda Denzler

          I was a writer and editor. Depending on job requirements. I’m still doing both, in my retirement, but at a slower pace.


        • #35529
          Jen Cueva

          Duh, and you did tell me that before. Sorry, CRS pops in to visit often.

          I do recall that you were an editor and did some writing. I wasn’t aware that you continue to do this as you can. That certainly keeps you busy. I now know why you’re so intelligent; Editors are so brilliant!

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