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Motivated by Competition
For my column this week I wrote about my relationship with competition. Do you identify as a competitive person? I certainly do! Being competitive has kept me alive. It’s what drives me to keep beating survival statistics and proving doctors wrong.
Ironically, my first pediatric cardiologist failed to diagnose me with pulmonary hypertension (PH) because competition is in my nature. I complained to my mom that I couldn’t keep up with the other kids in my class when we would race across the school yard. She brought up her concerns with my doctor, who told her I would be fine if I weren’t being raised by such competitive parents. Mom got a second opinion after that!
Growing up with PH, I couldn’t compete in sports like my younger sister did. Instead, I competed academically through speech and debate competitions and math tournaments (yes, I’m that nerdy). There was a period where I cared more about my GPA than anything else.
I’ve mellowed out a bit since, thank goodness. Competition is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it keeps us fighting. On the other, competition is inherently about comparison, which can be incredibly damaging. I know that I am competitive, therefore I try to harness the positive elements of that quality, while taming the destructive elements.
This week I am competing in the Donate Life Transplant Games of America in cycling, badminton, and table tennis (ha). I’m just going to have fun doing these activities, and not worry about winning any medals. But…I mean, medals would be nice.
In what ways do you think a PH diagnosis can change our relationship to competition? What outlets have you found for your drive?
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1 Reply
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Hi Kathleen,
I have always been a competitive person too and am highly motivated to “beat the odds” although sometimes I need to tone it down and can get a little carried away. LOL! luckily I have learned to listen to my body more and not push past that breaking point. I was able to participate in sports throughout high school and this was where a lot of my competition and drive to keep pushing forward came from. Having sports in my life motivated me to get better and push beyond expectations.When that was taken away from me it was hard for me to get the motivation back, and going to appointments and seeing numbers decreasing and function decreasing just doesn’t drive my spirit. I feel like a lot of my motivation now comes from the push from other people which sets off that fire in me. When other people tell me that I am inspiring them, that their children look up to me, that they read my columns and find them helpful, that motivates me to keep going !
I’m glad to have that now 🙂
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