What is something that you really appreciate others doing for you during a flare

[jen-cueva]

What a great topic, Brittany! It is definitely the small things that mean the most. I have some of the same as your list, cooking, cleaning, but I will add a few things to the list.

I think the gratitude of these caregivers (and friends) for myself, and I am sure for you is beyond measure.

I enjoy when my hubby and others bring me a treat, even it is my fave candy, drink, latte, etc.

I enjoy new books, flowers, cards, and letters.

I love getting new PJs, and that has happened a few times after a hospital visit.

I love PJ or “loungewear” visits when we are all comfy. We can chat and catch up or watch movies and eat junk, LOL

So many things, I also appreciate the help around the house, grocery shopping and back rubs let’s not forget that, hehe

This list could go on forever, LOL

I am glad that you have had so much support and things you enjoy as you recover the surgeries.

[Brittany Foster]

Hi Jen,
I LOVE getting new lounge outfits too. Usually Marshalls has the BEST stuff and I when I have planned hospital stays, that is something that my mom and I do as part of our “routine” is going to get nice new pajama pants or button down pajama tops to wear. I usually go with the button down short sleeves in the hospital especially because of the heart monitors and having to take things on and off quickly for x rays! The ones with the plastic buttons are perfect! Highly recommended for your hospital bag!

[jen-cueva]

That’s a great idea, Brittany! I LOVE Marshalls and TJMaxx, too! I’ll have to get a few lounge outfits to add to my hospital bag. I love that you and your Mom make this a ” routine” before scheduled hospitalizations. Thanks for the tip of the shirt sleeve button-down sets, definitely would work best with all the wires, lol

This last hospital sleepover my daughter brought me a cute sleep tee, but I couldn’t use it because of the wires. I’ve used it since I’ve been home, lol 😆

I’ll be making a trip to Marshalls soon👍

[jen-cueva]

I love this post so much that I wanted to share for those who may be newer in the forums. Brittany, one of the forum moderators, which pretty much started this forum, has helpful suggestions. She is not involved as much now, but these forums mean the world to her and the support here. She continues to inspire and motivate me.

Now, what is something that you appreciate others doing when you are having a difficult time? I know these are a variety of items, feel free to share. I am thinking of you @shannon4jk, as I am sharing this older post.

Since the pandemic, I am grateful for grocery delivery services. It has been a life-saver for sure. Little things can help us in such big ways.

[Colleen]

@jenc this is a good question that Brittany asked.

Honestly, my first thought that came to mind in regard to my son Cullen…Don’t ask a lot of questions.

When Cullen is really sick and having a bad day it stresses him out so much if his dad and I ask too many questions. He has explained that he will tell us what we need to know. Do not ask him over and over again things like: How are you feeling? What are your symptoms? Do you need anything? Have you tried doing this or that?

The thing he appreciates most is supportive silence. Stay with him, rub his back, keep the washcloth for his forehead hot or cold and get him what he needs when he asks for it. He always thanks us later when he is feeling better.

[Deleted User]

Hi Jen. And it’s IMO for me to remember that my caregivers do try to make me comfortable and are always thoughtful about what I need. I sometimes forget that they have lives too! But the most important thing to me is clean sheets and a freshly made bed. Nothing feels so good as a fresh bed! I spend a lot of time in bed and it’s so nice to have fresh clean bedding. My dog also sheds all over so we both like clean sheets. Lol and I also appreciate little things like candy and tea. And I use grocery pick up I find I save a lot of time using this service. They don’t deliver where I live but it can order online and pick it up.

[Carol Volckmann]

What a great topic Brittney! I never thought about comfy PJs for the hosiptal those gowns are so terrible!

It really is the little things: a freshly made bed all turned down and the pillows just the way I like them (me too Shannon), a clean house, back rubs for sure and foot rubs. There are so many things I am do greatful for that my husband does for me – bringing me flowers for no reason just to say he loves me! Thank you Brittney, I need to thank him right now!!

[jen-cueva]

Ah, @colleensteele, that is so important, and I am happy that you shared that. Cullen sounds a bit like my hubby. He becomes overwhelmed when I have been in the hospital because I do not always hang on to my phone. So, everyone text, calls, and messages him to ask as he says, “100 questions”.

I can respect that from Cullen and from my hubby, too. I think that I mentioned here before, my sisters and their friends often want to come together and have like a family reunion. After a few times, I told my hubby; they don’t visit when I feel good, so why do they come like that. I need some quiet and arrest time. I have now been told he messages them all and says no visitors before a certain time because I need rest. They become so laud, and a few times, I have been napping while they are there.

Back rubs and that washcloth is a go-to for me, too. My washcloth usually needs to be cool, as I often deal with nausea. Like Cullen, I may not be as thankful then depending oh how bad I feel, but I am always grateful afterward. I always ask my daughter when I am there if she is not and my mom a few times. But because my hubby is usually with me, I do not want a whole crew. I hope this does not come across as being rude.

What would you say helps you the most as a caregiver? Are you bombarded with calls and texts? I try not to overwhelm others when they are there but want them to know I am here, too.

[jen-cueva]

Oh @shannon4jk, I also love fresh, clean sheets. I can imagine that being in bed more, this is even more important. Those are the little things that make a big difference. That makes you and your dog happy, hehe.

Do you like a specific scent? Like I love Gain. I also like to have a light spa-like scent in my Scentsy warmers to make me feel a bit more relaxed. Now I want to wash my sheets but usually wait until my hubby is off to help LOL.

It sounds like you are doing a bit better with letting them help you. I know that is not as easy as a mom, but once you do, you see how much better you feel, and they want to care for you. Being mindful that they also have other obligations in life is helpful. You are moving ahead, and I am so proud of you.

Big hugs from Texas

[jen-cueva]

Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, I know right, those hospital gowns are so big and sloppy. I usually have my pj bottoms on underneath mine. But, Brittany’s idea to add those comfy PJs is a great one!

Yes, those pillows, I always need to move around. I appreciate my hubby so much for the little things. He brings me Starbucks or little things from home that make a difference. Another is the body sprays that I like to use on the hospital bed and myself. Sometimes hospitals can smell so “sick.”

You mention a fresh, clean house. My most recent hospital stay, my hubby, went bought wax melts and had new scents in my Scentsy warmers and a clean house. I love coming home to that, and because he could not visit me, he stayed busy. I may need to send him home more often when I am in there- hehe.

Having a supportive partner certainly makes a big difference- hugs from Texas.