-
Which personal skill or quality do you value the most?
Let’s start the month off with gratitude. Share the skills and qualities you appreciate most about yourself!
Are you funny, thoughtful, musical, or analytical? Or you’re a natural helper, always looking out for those around you. Let’s celebrate who we are with gratitude.
Which personal skill or quality about yourself do you value the most?
-
46 Replies
-
Let’s see. I am reasonably intelligent and reasonably good at expressing myself. I am reasonably honest in most situations. It’s not that I can’t be tempted. It’s just that it takes a LOT to tempt me to be dishonest! LOL!
-
Hi @brendad53, Honesty is a rare quality, especially in today’s world. Unfortunately, being honest can sometimes make us naive to the dishonesty of others.
I personally try to give others the benefit of the doubt, even when it has led me to tricky situations. I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences in your own life.
Like you and @colleensteele,From a young age, I was instilled with the importance of honesty. My late Pawpaw also valued this virtue and demonstrated exceptional empathy towards others.
-
-
Great topic @jenc!
Like @brendad53 I am a very honest person…almost to a fault. I can’t lie to save my life! My dad’s #1 RULE was don’t lie and I’ve lived by that rule my whole life.
I value my inner voice and have learned the hard way over the years that to not listen to it usually doesn’t end well for me.
What I appreciate is my ability to forgive. It’s so much easier to be a loving person when you are able to do this. Keep in mind, I don’t forget which means I sometimes have to adjust my approach with certain people but yes, for the most part, I usually forgive.
What about you @jenc? What do you value most in yourself?
-
What I find most remarkable about myself is how naive I am when it comes to something like lying. There are times when I’m watching a movie, and the character lies, or I hear about a “true crime” thing, and the suspect is found to have lied. They lie in ways and in situations that it would just never occur to me to lie. This tells me that, on the whole, I don’t have a lying heart. It’s not that I can’t lie or have never lied. Just that it’s not in me to do so easily and willingly.
-
Oh my gosh @brendad53 I am the same way! I could NEVER have been a police officer, lawyer…anything in which you need to the skill of detecting lies. I am soooo gullible! My kids sometimes take advantage of that and think it’s funny.
-
-
Hi @colleensteele, I love that we can hold onto our values as we grow. I forgive for my growth. Forgiveness is essential to me; it doesn’t mean forgetting the person’s actions.
Trying to fix everything is draining. I can’t change anyone, and giving me all is unhealthy.
I value my caring nature and listening skills, but I’ve occasionally interrupted others when talking. This annoys me. My psychiatrist thinks it may be the anxiety meds’ side effect, so I’m lowering the dosage. As she suggested, I’ll try to process my thoughts before blurting them out.
-
-
Like you Colleen, I am honest almost to a fault and very candid with people. I think one characteristic that has helped me deal with negative issues has always been that I am very practical and ask myself, okay what is the worst case scenario… and go from there. For friends, family and loved ones I use to try and “fix” everything to make their lives better and have learned I cannot fix their issues but rather try and support and love them.
This is a great topic Jen. You seem to always dig deep and allow us to see ourselves from inside out! Love you for it – thank you.
-
Carol, I like your approach of trying to imagine the worst case scenario and then going from there. The saying goes, “Blessed are the pessimists, for they shall never be disappointed!” And in fact, I find that I am often surprised and pleased in small (and sometimes larger) ways.
As for the fixing things in peoples’ lives…like my kids. I struggle with that. They are grown men, but I struggle with wanting to “fix” things so that they don’t struggle so hard or suffer. The last time I tried to do that in a major way, it blew up in my face big-time. Results I never anticipated. So I’m trying to learn the lesson to butt out.
-
Hi @brendad53, yes, like you, trying to fix things, especially for our adult kids, often can blow up in our faces. As a mother of a young adult daughter, I struggled to create and respect her boundaries. Therapy helped me understand how vital it was. Though we had some hard times, my daughter was an excellent teacher in this regard.
Our relationship has improved, and we can now enjoy our time together. When adult children return home, do you find yourself reverting to their childhood days?
-
My kids don’t return home, as they live within a few miles of me. So I don’t have that “just like when they were kids” feeling very much.
-
Well, having your kids that close is always a plus, @brendad53. They have their own home to return to, but it’s great that they are near so you can see them as often as possible. I also know as adults, they have busy lives going in many directions. Also, my daughter has no kids yet. We do have a granddog, hehe.
-
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, aww, now I see we have even more in common. I am also a “fixer.” But working on that, too.
Your approach to negative issues is an excellent way to think about them. Asking ourselves what’s the worst-case scenario allows us to “plan for the worst, but hope for the best,” as I often try and remind myself.
I love you, too, my dear PHriend. I’m grateful that you find my topics to dig deeper than PH are beneficial. Have a wonderful weekend. It’s sprinkling or “spitting” here in SD this morning.
-
-
Brenda, quite the opposite I am not a pessimist. I need to know worst case so I will able to see best solutions. When I was first diagnosed I was told I had 3-5 years to live. That was 23 years ago I researched for best options. You can certainly relate to that. Hope your visit with your Dad goes well.
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, your approach and experiences are such an inspiration for me and many others. You’ve pushed through despite the many changes that PH and your scleroderma brought and continue to throw at you.
Do you feel that your days sailing the seas was helpful in how you approach and react in your daily life?
-
Yes. I do think all the years of sailing and learning that the conditions can and do change and you have to be prepared for that.
However, living through bring raped as a child (guess this is the candid part of me) I learned even worst case scenarios you can forge ahead see your options and learn that whatever happens to you, you can become a stronger person.
-
I honor the child that you were, and the adult you’ve become, Carol.
-
Wow,@cdvol3gmail-com, that’s eye-opening! I’m impressed by your vulnerability and perseverance, even as a child. You’re a real inspiration, my dear PHriend! But sorry you had to go through that as a child.
-
Thank you Jen you are always right there with just the right words!
One of the most helpful tools to live through what happened to me was a program on healing the inner child: getting in touch with that child, learning it is my responsibility to heal that child and not blame, to learn what I went through even though it was traumatic it also help make me the person I am today – stronger and knowing it is okay to be vulnerable.
Sometimes my directness can set people back, I am thankful it did not set you back dear friend. -
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, you are such a lovely soul! I’m grateful to know you and ride this journey with you.
It must have been incredibly challenging to undergo the program to heal your inner child. However, it’s true that the person you are today, full of strength and perseverance, is partly a testament to the trauma you overcame in childhood.
Your straightforwardness can be a valuable asset, particularly in healthcare, where clarity is vital. Your ability to articulate your ideas effectively is admirable, as I often struggle with relaying my thoughts without getting lost in translation. Have you ever thought of this trait as valuable?
-
Jen, your support means so much. I treasure your caring attitude and words of wisdom – you always seem to pull out of me what I need at the time.
Yes, I believe my directness, straighforwardness has helped me navigate through tough times and certainly dealing with my health issues. Add persistence to that has equally been helpful in finding the right team and letting go of medical individuals who I do not trust with my mefical care.
Thank you again sweet woman!!
-
@cdvol3gmail-com @jenc you are both an inspiration to me. You have both been through so much in life yet instead of becoming sour, skeptical, irate people, you just became more compassionate, loving and caring.
-
Colleen you are an inspiration for me. Thsnk you for your kind words. We all carry so much to deal with. I guess the point is … we do deal with what is thown our way.
Hope you are enjoying this great weather and that you are getting out a bit to take in some fresh air!
-
Hi @colleensteele, I am so grateful for your inspiration and appreciate your heartfelt words.
I echo Carol’s sentiment that we must face challenges as they arise, and I am thankful for you and the supportive individuals in these forums who have helped me through tough times.
As cliché, as it may sound, it does take a village, or in this case, a PH News forum, to come together and support each other.
Please know how much I treasure your friendship and how much you mean to me.
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, Dear PHriend, your kindness never fails to make my day. Your support means the world to me.
You are an inspiration – a strong, resilient woman who navigates her care gracefully while caring for others with endless love and support.
Your directness must be a valuable asset in your healthcare and your husband, Dick’s healthcare needs. It’s a wonderful trait that makes self-advocacy a powerful tool.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. We learn so much from each other, which makes life beautiful.
-
Jen, this forum is very special. We all have so much to deal with and we learn so much from each other. Put all our personality traits together and learning from each does make us stronger and better as self advocates. Wish I could HUG you all!
Thank you Jen and Colleen for being our monerators!
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, well said! Watch out, world, when we put our traits together!
Hugs from afar for now. So many times, I wish I could hug y’all, too. Maybe we will do another Zoom meet-up in the future. That was great to attach a face to a name.
Thank you and our valued forum members for making the forums what it is today! We are grateful for y’all!
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, well said! Watch out, world, when we put our traits together!
Hugs from afar for now. So many times, I wish I could hug y’all, too. Maybe we will do another Zoom meet-up in the future. That was great to attach a face to a name.
Thank you and our valued forum members for making the forums what it is today! We are grateful for y’all!
-
I am so happy you had such quality and great time with the kids – you needed that! And Manny making sure you were not overdoing – he has your back!! Give him big hug!
You mentioned you were having challenging puppy 🐶 times. What’s up with puppy Zoe? Cloud is now 10 months and gets better (still steals things and outs them under the piano unless it is paper, then shreds and eats). We have to keep reminding ourselves he is a puppy.
Sending warms hugs 🤗 and a bundle of positive energy! ❤️
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, thank you, my dear PHriend. I will hug you and tell Manny your gratitude.
Yeah, I feel like the kids’ visit was a reset for me, mentally and emotionally, which is precisely what I needed.
Oh, the puppy trials. Ms. Zoe is a ball of energy, as you know all too well. She was 6 months yesterday. She completed her puppy training on Wednesday. The trainer said she we are doing exceptionally well. It’s just like you mentioned, reminding ourselves that she is a puppy. She suggests a yearly tune-up, at least if needed.
Zoe is now potty trained, so that is huge. She also will nap a bit more, maybe because we try to wear her out with play and training time.
Thanks for your continued support. How are y’all doing this week?
-
Seems it always takes longer for little dogs to complete their potty training – who knows why! So glad Ms Zoe is now potty trained! That’s a biggie!
This week has taken its toll. Unpacking Pogo, put everything away, laundry, clean the house get the guest bedroom ready for my cousin and partner…
I did have a good outcome with PCP labs were stable! I just started the antibiotic again for SIBO. Fingers crossed 🤞 it will start working this time.
Weather has been delightful … today cloudy with light rain. It is okay as I have to pay bills etc.
Hope you, Manny and Ms Zoe have a relaxing weekend – please take care of yourself, if you won’t , I know Manny will 😊! Big HUG 🤗❤️❤️
-
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, it sounds like you need some time to rest up after all that!
When is your cousin coming for a visit? Hopefully, not for a few more days, at least, to allow you and Dick some rest.
Thanks for the update on your PCP and labs. I’m praying and crossing all I can that the antibiotic works for you this time to offer relief from SIBO.
Our weather has been more like we live near you and Colleen. But thankful the end of this week and weekend is supposed to have more sunshine. Aww, my body needs that extra Vitamin D boost!
Yesterday we had a lazy day, or I should say I had more than Manny. He changed the oil and headlights in my Jeep. I was cuddled on the couch with Zoe and even had the opportunity to talk to our lovely forum moderator, @colleensteele! <3
Many hugs, love, and positive thoughts are with you this week, my dear PHriend.
-
Thanks Jen for your continued support!!
My cousin and her partner arrived Wed. We did have a nice quick visit but certainly added to my fatigue as well as Dick’s. Cloud loved it.
Finally getting back to whatever normal is and the house cleaned or at least what you can see hehehe!!!
Really had you had a chance to talk with Colleen – that had to be therapeutic for you both.
Hope this week gives you a chance to relax 😌 do you have any doctor or labs to do?
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Today it is beautiful and 77 degrees- tomorrow back into the 60’s!</p>
Sending warm hugs, positive energy and love ❤️ -
Hi @cdvol3gmail-com, I am happy you had a pleasant visit with your cousin and her partner. I hope you, Dick, and Mr. Cloud can get back to your usual routine now after you regain some of that expended energy.
I relate to cleaning, especially the areas we can see and bugs us the most. Hehe. A woman who thinks like me;).
My win for the week was catching up with our amazing @colleensteele! I’ve missed hearing her sweet voice, as we usually catch up once a month at least, and lots of text in between. <3
Yep, we are supposed to warm up and get more sunshine, which I look forward to. I have a Well Woman exam this week and a follow-up with the pain folks. That's virtual, so I am happy it can be quicker, and then I plan to start dinner. Yesterday afternoon, I got groceries and was too tired to eat or cook. Manny made us breakfast burritos. I soaked and reset on the couch, and then he cleaned the kitchen. I'm blessed; he also worked late, so I know he had to be exhausted. But he wanted me to eat and knew I wouldn't eat PB or cereal.
Thanks for your good wishes and positive energy. I am sending it back with hugs, love, and puppy dog kisses. Let USB know in the June post what's on your calendar this month. I hope it isn't too busy.
-
-
Carol and Jen, there are two kinds of pessimists. Defeatist pessimists only see down sides and figure that nothing is going to work out, so why try too hard? Defensive pessimists try to see what can go wrong so that they can try to find ways to prevent that happening. When I called you a “pessimist,” it was in the good, “defensive pessimist” sense of the word.
There’s a book called *The Happiness Hypothesis* that discusses this difference. The author points out that there isn’t much social value in defeatist pessimism. There can be a great deal of social value, however, in defensive pessimism.
For instance, you don’t want an optimist doing the pre-flight mechanical check on your airplane: “Oh, I’m sure that gizmo on the plane is just fine now. It worked the last time the plane was in the sky. It’ll be fine.”
What you want is the defensive pessimist, who looks at the gizmo and says: “When was the last time the gizmo was tested?” Or they say, “I can’t afford to skip any steps on this pre-flight check. Just because something worked last time this plane was in the sky doesn’t mean it’s going to work fine the next time.”
-
You nailed it Brenda – defensive optimism! I like that. Thanks 😊
-
LOL, Carol! I said defensive pessimism! Only an optimist would change the terms! 🙂
-
I meant defensive pessimism- sorry about that. And thank you for honoring the child and the adult I have become.
-
Yes, that is the perfect explanation, @brendad53! Well done, and thanks for that book reference in case anyone has time to find and give it a read. It does sound interesting.
-
-
-
Skills – I have a green thumb, I have excellent luck with flowers and plants; I’m pretty good at playing the piano (not enough air left for singing), but I still love music; and art, painting, etc.
Personal skills: as many have said, I am a very honest person. My Dad (a wonderful man and minister) always told us kids that we would get in trouble quicker for lying more than anything else. That really stuck with me.
I’m not as much as a fixer as I am a caregiver. Though in caring I find myself fixing a little too. Lol. My nature is to take care of others, whether physically (that’s hard for me to do now), through sharing wisdom and experiences, or just being there emotionally and being a good listener. I worked in Healthcare (occupational therapy) for 20 years, and in answering this forum question (thanks Jen) I realize why I stayed in it for so long – I enjoy(ed) people and making their day a little brighter even in some small way while helping them in therapeutic ways physically, was really what it was all about!
It’s hard to explain what I value most about myself, but once an anonymous patient said “Dee is the most genuine person I have ever known.” Now that one made me cry.
<p style=”text-align: right;”></p>-
That is a wonderful compliment, Dee! 🙂
-
Hi @deetweedy, I I had my mom’s green thumb! She used to own a florist, and can grow a beautiful garden. I’ve even managed to kill plants that were purportedly indestructible!
I appreciate you sharing your experience in OT and how much you enjoyed it! Improving someone’s day is truly rewarding, isn’t it? It requires a lot of patience, which I can relate to, having worked in nursing.
Lovely compliment, Dee! You probably impacted more lives than you realize in those 20 years. During my first COVID hospitalization, the PT and OT showed me how to sit, get up, and groom myself with patience and expertise.
I’m grateful this topic helped you remember there’s more to you than PH.
-
@deetweedy I would combine all that you shared and say you are a nurturer, literally and figuratively. From green thumb to caring for people, those skills require the ability to pay attention to what is needed to help the other thrive. I have high respect for all nurturers.
-
-
Skill: I’m a pretty good problem solver whether it people or puzzles. I guess that is why I get so frustrated trying to pursue why I have PH because I keep hitting dead ends. I can recognize clues, think deep and outside the box, recognize patterns, etc. People come to me for advice and whether they take it or not does not matter to me, but I will freely give my opinion when asked. I always loved math word problems in school, so problem solving started young.
Quality: I love people. I want to be around them. I can get along with some of the most disagreeable people, not all but some.
-
Hi @debbie, Being a problem solver and thinking outside the box are crucial skills that can benefit not just yourself but all those who seek your advice during the various seasons of life.
Sorry, you couldn’t figure out your PH. As a nurse, I’m often clueless of why I experience specific symptoms. Manny, my husband, is a Lead Diesel Tech, so he “fixes” things but hates that he can’t “fix” my health issues. He says my body’s check engine is on, but often no one seems to know why.
It seems you are an exceptional listener with a natural sense of empathy toward others. I share your profound passion for people and usually find it effortless to establish connections with anyone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I didn’t care for math, so if needed, I’ll ask you to do any math problems I run into. Hehe.
-
It’s nice to know someone else keeps wondering about the “why” of it.
-
Hi @brendad53, I sometimes know most of us to wonder about the “whys.” Some more than others, but it’s usually a given at times.
I have always asked questions. To the point, I wake up on the weekends and ask Manny what’s the plans for the day. I was known in school growing up to ask too many questions. Hehe.
-
-
Log in to reply.