PHancy Free - a Column by Rebecca Lidenberg

Emotions. I’ve been struggling to come up with an idea for this column. Or rather, I’ve been struggling to narrow it down to one idea. My thoughts lately have been jumbled and scattered. I’ve been jumpy and anxious. So, this will focus on lots of emotions. Guilt.

When I first got diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, I was physically unable to do anything. Showering was a chore. I could hardly walk from my bedroom to the kitchen. I stopped leaving the house. But eventually, with the help of my medications, I began to do more…

Dealing with a chronic illness like pulmonary hypertension leads to living a life of complicated feelings: Anger, anxiety … and jealousy. Jealousy is an evil monster. It has the ability to seep into every aspect of our lives. It can make us paranoid, on edge, resentful, and bitter.

Before I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension I was a real go-getter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved a day in my sweats and a good Netflix binge as much as anyone, but I worked hard. I was a nanny and worked more than 50 hours…

I got a tattoo today. It’s actually my sixth tattoo, but this one is definitely a good one. I decided to get a tattoo of the serotonin molecule. Serotonin, the chemical that helps your brain feels happy. I got it because I haven’t been happy lately. I’ve felt…

Living with pulmonary hypertension, sometimes life is hard. You may not feel well. You may have lost someone close to you. You may be in a funk. Maybe there’s no reason at all — life is just weighing heavily on you. For times like that, here’s a list of…

It’s not always easy, or delicious, to cook with a low-sodium flair as part of a safer pulmonary hypertension diet. Too much sodium can cause fluid retention because our bodies simply can’t process these things as well anymore. It also makes going out to eat…

I’ve always been a big traveler. I’ve zip-lined in an eucalyptus jungle in Hawaii. I’ve stood with my feet in the Gulf of Mexico. I’ve been at the top of the Eiffel Tower at midnight, and watched Paris glitter before me. I’ve seen the most gorgeous sunsets…

I met my friend Drea years ago. We quickly bonded over both of us being childhood cancer survivors. We were able to speak freely with each other about what that meant. How we were so grateful for this life, but how it’s still difficult sometimes. We talked…

I’ve been married almost four years now. It’s not a long time in the grand aspect of marriage. When I met my husband, Matt, it was a connection I knew would last. When we started dating, I KNEW. I had always heard people say that “when you know, you know,”…

Let’s face it: It’s HARD to eat right. Add pulmonary hypertension on top of that? (Eye roll.) When I was first diagnosed with PH my doctor recommended I remove certain things from my diet. Alcohol. Salt. Sugars. All I kept thinking about was how wine and bacon were my favorite…

Sometimes (okay, probably more often than not) you meet people who don’t understand your illness. They take breathing for granted. They don’t even notice their lungs most of the time. They don’t understand how you struggle some days, gasping, dealing with chest pain, unable to do much. And they certainly…