When living with PH, there’s no such thing as a minor case of the flu

I started writing this column from the couch while battling the flu. Before I could finish, bronchitis, and then pneumonia, changed the story.

Almost a week after developing bronchitis, I landed in the hospital. What I’d hoped would be a few days of rest became another reminder of how quickly things can change when managing pulmonary hypertension (PH).

When treatments keep my PH symptoms manageable, I settle into a rhythm of balancing medications, monitoring my breathing, and budgeting my energy. Getting through a few hours of work or doing some things around the house means something. I remember when those activities felt out of reach.

Then an illness can knock the wind right out of my sails.

The exhaustion is difficult, but so is the way my mind returns to the years when barely getting off the couch was my everyday reality. Suddenly, I’m wondering how long this setback will last and when I’ll feel like myself again.

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My first stop was urgent care to get a nasty cough and flu-like symptoms checked out. The care provider ordered tests for COVID-19, influenza A and B, and respiratory syncytial virus (RSV). When she mentioned RSV, my expression must have said everything, because she paused and asked what was wrong.

I explained that I’d recently visited my 2-month-old grandson, holding him close and kissing his sweet head. My daughter had reminded me how dangerous RSV can be for babies. Sitting in that exam room, all I could think about was him.

Waiting for the results felt longer than just a few minutes.

“First off, it’s not RSV,” the physician assistant said when she returned.

I let out a deep sigh of relief. The COVID-19 test was negative, too. Instead, I tested positive for influenza A.

My relief was mixed with worry about having been around my grandson. Being his Mimi brings me so much joy. The thought of possibly exposing him to an illness was hard to accept.

With PH and stage 4 chronic kidney disease, treatment decisions require extra care. I left with the provider’s treatment plan, hoping rest and time would help.

Instead, I developed bronchitis and eventually pneumonia, which required hospitalization. Before I’d finished writing about being sidelined, I was facing an even bigger setback.

When my body rests, my mind keeps going

When I got home and was on the couch, my body was exhausted, but my brain kept running through its familiar checklist: the laundry, the dusty shelves, the work waiting for me.

I knew I needed rest. I was taking my medications and permitting myself to lie there. Yet that little voice kept reminding me of everything I “should be doing.”

Maybe you recognize that tug-of-war, too.

For me, it brings up more than unfinished chores. It stirs memories of how much PH has taken from me and how hard I’ve worked to regain some independence. An illness can make that progress feel frighteningly fragile.

I can appreciate how far I’ve come yet still struggle with another setback.

So I’m remembering that leaving the hospital doesn’t mean my energy immediately returns. I need breaks. Some things must wait. My body needs room to recover without my mind turning every quiet moment into a list of failures.

With the arrival of flu season, this experience feels especially personal. Influenza isn’t the only concern; COVID-19, RSV, and other respiratory viruses also deserve attention.

Talking with our healthcare teams about recommended vaccines and what to do when symptoms begin can help us prepare. Handwashing, cleaner indoor air, well-fitting masks in crowded indoor spaces, and staying home when sick can reduce risk. People at higher risk of severe illness should seek care promptly.

Sometimes protecting each other means postponing something we love. As much as I want grandson snuggles, those visits can wait until I’m well enough.

Precautions can’t guarantee we won’t get sick, and illness doesn’t mean we failed. We deserve compassion, including from ourselves.

This autumn has included more time under a blanket than I expected. I’m grateful to be home, even with the exhaustion and emotions still lingering.

I began this column fearing I’d lost my progress. Finishing it, I’m giving my body credit for everything it has endured.

For now, letting myself heal is enough.

Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.