Why it’s important to focus on self-care during the holidays

With PH and other chronic illnesses, trying to do it all is too much

by Jen Cueva | December 18, 2024

Here we are, just a week before Christmas and somehow my brain is still stuck in November. How did that happen?

This year has been a whirlwind of activity in terms of managing my pulmonary hypertension (PH) and other health challenges. The past six months have been especially rough as relentless fatigue and chronic pain have made it hard to keep up with daily life. I’ve started relying more on my pain medications for relief, but they leave me even more drained. It’s like I’m constantly chasing balance by listening to my body and resting when I need to, but it feels like life is racing past me.

The holiday season is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Family, friends, traditions, and good cheer — it’s all magical in theory. While I do love making memories and soaking in the festive vibes, there’s no denying that extra stress comes with it. For those of us juggling PH and other chronic illnesses, the holidays can feel like a double-edged sword: It’s joyful, but also physically and mentally draining. I want to do it all, especially with my loved ones, but my body has other plans.

Ho no! Christmastime is here again!

Lessons learned

Over the years, I’ve learned what happens when I push myself too hard during the holidays. It takes all the joy out of the season when I focus only on the things I should do, which leaves me exhausted and frustrated. So how do we find space for the things that truly bring us joy while protecting our health?

One thing that’s helped me is setting realistic expectations. It’s not always easy, but being honest about my limitations is crucial. Saying no, setting boundaries, and letting go of the urge to do it all is necessary. At the Pulmonary Hypertension News Forums, we recently revisited the topic of letting go, which couldn’t be more fitting for this season. Many of us shared how we’ve learned to let go of certain things during the holidays. Shifting the focus to what truly makes us happy while carving out time for self-care can ease stress and help us feel more grounded.

Another important factor is communication. Being open with family and friends about our health needs and limitations is essential. For example, my therapist recently called me out on my overly ambitious holiday plans. I had a list of 10 Christmas activities saved in my Notes app, and I fully intended to tackle them all. She gently suggested that I narrow the list down to two and then talk to my family about it. By sharing what I need, I can avoid guilt or pressure and let my loved ones support me in the ways that I need.

The holidays aren’t just about running around to events and checking off to-do lists. There’s so much joy in the simple moments, when I spend quality time with loved ones, dive into creative hobbies, or just take a breather to relax and recharge. It’s about finding a balance between self-care and holiday traditions.

This year, I’m permitting myself to slow down, rest, and make the holidays look a little different. The season’s magic isn’t about doing everything, but rather creating special memories that matter.

How are you taking care of yourself this season? Let’s remind each other that it’s not about perfection, but rather finding joy in the little things, one moment at a time.

Note: Pulmonary Hypertension News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Hypertension News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary hypertension.

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About the Author

Jen Cueva Jen Cueva lives in San Diego, California, with her husband and daughter. Jen worked in nursing before the script changed upon her diagnosis of pulmonary hypertension (PH), group 1, in 2005. Advocacy has been essential to her life. Her passion is to instill hope and remind others in the PH community that they are not alone. To do this, she serves as a forum moderator for Pulmonary Hypertension News and in her weekly column she delves into the roller coaster of emotions that accompany PH. It is powerful and meaningful to her to have this opportunity to play a role in helping others become more informed and educated so they are more empowered in their journey. Together, we PHight stronger!

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