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Has your doctor ever over-explained things?
We have often discussed how appreciative we are when our doctors thoroughly explain our health and treatments. But have you ever had issues with overexplaining?
It wasn’t until I started caring for my aging parents that I have, at times, wished their doctor(s) kept to the need to know and not elaborate. My parents are struggling with dementia and hearing loss so their ability to understand and obtain information is limited. What I feel should be left out when speaking directly to them is what has been ruled out and what treatments would not be best for them. It’s best to stick to their diagnosis, what tests will be done, and what medications they will take. Offering more information than that can become very confusing for them. Doctors need to know their audience and gauge what should be left unsaid unless the caregiver or patient asks for information about what has been ruled out.
Have you ever been upset by too much information or frustrated as a caregiver by having to explain after the appointment what the patient doesn’t need to worry about? What are your thoughts?
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3 Replies
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Hi @Colleen, when I helped with my parents, including my late stepfather, I also had this struggle. When he and my late grandmother were both in hospice care, I asked the nurse case manager NOT to over-share. When they had essential topics to discuss, I asked her to call me and update me instead.
Yes, it’s also a catch-22. We want trustworthy doctors, but when our parents are already trying to manage daily activities, certain specifics are better if a family member is updated versus upsetting our older loved ones. This is even more important when managing dementia and hearing loss. It’s so easy to become frustrated as a caregiver.
On the other hand, as a patient, I’ve always asked my healthcare team to give it to me when they have things that may not be easy to deal with. I do better when I am also educated. However, I know that at times, when I’ve been in a state of confusion, Manny and KK (my family) have asked the team to please not share too many details with me. It would not be worth it in my state at those times.
This is an incredible topic to discuss, Colleen. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you can talk with the doctors, even if it’s via Mychart or another portal. Did they do a medical POA?
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@jen-cueva if it’s something concerning I don’t mind a doctor trying to help me explain it to my parents but I just wish they would leave out the possibilities that are ruled out. That gets so confusing for them.
I do have POA now for everything, including medical which will help a great deal.
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Well said, @Colleen! How does it make you feel being their POA? I assume you knew it would happen eventually with you being an only child. You know I think I may need to write a column about this. I could ask KK and Manny both how this would make them feel.
I’m sending extra spoons, love, and prayers your way, sweet Colleen!
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