“Why am I so tired?” I ask myself at 10 in the morning, just a few short hours after waking up. I wish that I could say this was due to lack of sleep the night before, or from overexerting myself in the early hours of the morning.
Think back to what it was like riding a carousel when you were young. I’m sure you raced for the best horse, and you wanted to be the first one buckled. When the carousel started, it may have been moving more slowly…
“I’m fine.” Even though I know it’s a lie, sometimes it’s easiest for me to give this response when people ask, “How are you?” Why am I so accustomed to saying this even when I feel far from it? The reality is…
“It’s all in your head.” I wish medical professionals knew just how damaging this comment is to someone with a chronic medical condition. These words can make those of us with chronic illness question our judgment of symptoms. It leaves us feeling angry and forces us…
Trusting myself enough to know when something is “off” with my body has been one of the hardest things about managing a chronic illness. Paying attention to how our bodies feel is physically and mentally exhausting. While figuring out our new normal, we…
“People like this are the reason we have to wait around for a spot!” In that moment, as I was being publicly attacked for my use of the valet service at the hospital, I felt so much anger and sadness. I was…
“You look great!” “Doesn’t she look fabulous?” “I’m so happy to see you doing well!” It is easy for anyone to get caught up in first impressions. We are quick to pass judgment on someone’s physical ability based on a simple…
“It’s just not magical anymore!” I cried that Christmas I was in sixth grade, tears falling onto my bed. While my younger sisters and cousins waited for Santa, I was going through an 11-year-old’s crisis. The magic of the holiday season seemed completely lost…
It’s the most “wonderful time of the year.” The holiday season has officially begun. For those of us with chronic illness and pulmonary hypertension, it can be hard to look at this season as “wonderful.” Christmas will be here in just a few short weeks,…
I break into a sweat as I reach for my wallet, only to realize it’s not next to me in the car. What if I forgot to lock my car door last night? Did I just open my car door with…
“So, how was your Halloween!?” I asked the two children I nanny, as they were telling me about their day at school. With laughter, they replied, “Britt, we already told you about Halloween. We looked through the candy and organized…
Several factors caused me to develop anxiety. They include the trauma of surgeries for my congenital heart conditions that contributed to pulmonary hypertension, the fear of not knowing what was coming next, and failing to trust those who I should have depended on for protection.
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