After so many years of struggling to find my voice in advocating for my healthcare, today I am proud of how far I have come. Speaking up for my needs and advocating for the best available care hasn’t been easy. Processing medical trauma…
Recharged and Rewired - a Column by Brittany Foster
In recent years, I have heard the words “you’ll get used to it” more times than I can count. It’s as if my body and mind are programmed to adapt to whatever may come next. Trying to adapt to what life throws my way prompts…
For almost an entire year, I felt completely lost. Some mornings, I lacked motivation to even get out of bed. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of anxiety and depression; stuck somewhere between worrying too much and not caring at all.
When I was younger, I had recurring nightmares about a kidnapping. Usually, I was the hero chasing the kidnapper. These nightmares would spark panic attacks when, in my waking hours, I couldn’t quickly locate my sisters in public places. I had an irrational fear of…
I remember attending a Tim McGraw concert a few years ago. I could have heard a pin drop during a pause in his song, “Live Like You Were Dying,” before the entire stadium erupted to join in the chorus: “Skydiving / I went Rocky mountain climbing /…
Sometimes I think my emotions are too much to handle. I find myself wondering if I am overreacting or feeling things too strongly. However, chronic illness has taught me that I need to feel my emotions. I can’t bottle them up, hide…
For most of my life, my illnesses were invisible. I could walk into a public place and not expect sideways glances or stares. I didn’t feel like a fish out of water. The only difference between my friends and me was the scar down the middle of my…
“Can you keep it down? There are other sick people here.” These were the words spoken to me in an emergency room last weekend. I was crying and voicing my pain as I lay on an uncomfortable hospital bed. I had oxygen in my nose, a…
A couple of weeks ago, I listened with tears in my eyes as Demi Lovato sang her heart out at the Grammy Awards. I can’t relate to her addiction, but I can relate to the pain in her heart. Recently, I have felt depressed…
“I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.” This is the response I usually give to people when they ask, “How are you?” Most people I say this to don’t want to hear the truth and probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. I have learned over…
Gaining and losing weight is a part of life. In my 28 years, my weight has fluctuated for several reasons, including puberty, hormones, dietary changes, and acute illness. During these weight shifts, I accepted that it was just how my body was at…
“I don’t have a choice, but he does. He doesn’t have to choose this type of life.” I said this to my mom with tears in my eyes just before my bypass surgery four years ago. At the time, I had been in a…
