Author Archives: Brittany Foster

“Can you keep it down? There are other sick people here.”  These were the words spoken to me in an emergency room last weekend. I was crying and voicing my pain as I lay on an uncomfortable hospital bed. I had oxygen in my nose, a…

A couple of weeks ago, I listened with tears in my eyes as Demi Lovato sang her heart out at the Grammy Awards. I can’t relate to her addiction, but I can relate to the pain in her heart. Recently, I have felt depressed…

“I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.” This is the response I usually give to people when they ask, “How are you?” Most people I say this to don’t want to hear the truth and probably wouldn’t understand it anyway. I have learned over…

Gaining and losing weight is a part of life. In my 28 years, my weight has fluctuated for several reasons, including puberty, hormones, dietary changes, and acute illness. During these weight shifts, I accepted that it was just how my body was at…

“I don’t have a choice, but he does. He doesn’t have to choose this type of life.” I said this to my mom with tears in my eyes just before my bypass surgery four years ago. At the time, I had been in a…

I have spent the majority of my 28 years suppressing my emotions. I had this idea that strength meant not letting my true feelings show. I fooled a lot of people with my smile and the way I seemed to handle life’s stressors with ease.

“Don’t Google it. Don’t Google it.” This is the internal dialogue I was having as my pulmonologist gave me a new prescription. I was told about the potential benefits and the possible side effects before I left the office. And while I appreciate that there…

Last weekend, I woke up with a stabbing pain coming from the site of my jejunal feeding tube. My tube has caused pain and countless infections over the past three months. I’ve been told to “give it time.” I have cried and…

I often stare at myself in the mirror and do not recognize the reflection staring back. I see a body that is so different from the one I had five years ago. I see a chest and a torso covered in scars from drainage tubes,…

Last week, I scrolled through Pinterest on my phone as I was wheeled into the endoscopy suite for a J-tube placement. I was doing everything I could to distract myself. I have worked hard in therapy to come up with coping mechanisms and have learned to keep my mind…

As a child, I always felt uncomfortable when people expressed sadness and fear. I tried to be strong to keep my family from feeling upset. I remember maintaining a brave face during surgeries and interventions to assure my loved ones that I would be OK. People have told…

The last few months have seemed like a stretch of bad dreams. I’ve felt as if I’ve had little control over my physical health while my medical team has been figuring out its next move. While awaiting medical decisions, my mental health presents an additional…